"Love, Rights, and Marriage - TALKING TO YOUR YOUNG ADULTS" - By: John Stonestreet| Breakpoint.org: July 8, 2015; http://www.breakpoint.org/bpcommentaries/entry/13/27758 [AS I SEE IT: This article doesn't attempt to answer ALL that can come up in a discussion with young adults about the recent SC decision redefining marriage. For more info, please check out the resources noted afterwards. The main point is to not be afraid to engage in a conversation because you can be sure others are already having a discussion with those who are not presenting a Biblical view of the issue. Also, you are bound to run into a question that you aren't sure how to answer. When that happens, simply say honestly, "I don't know but let me get back to you on that." Too often we think we need to have all the answers when truly very few have. As the expression goes, "honesty is always the best policy" no matter what the discussion. - Stan]
So when your teen tells you marriage is all about love and rights, and asks who are we to discriminate, what do you say?
[In previous post #1281], we discussed talking with younger kids about the Supreme Court decision on marriage: How Jesus Himself referred back to the beginning when talking about marriage; about God’s beautiful a plan for men and women, for marriage, and for families. And that sometimes, governments make bad laws. I should also add that we need to make sure our young ones know they can always come to us when they encounter something they don’t understand or that makes them feel uncomfortable. We want our kids asking us the questions—even the hard ones. Better that than them getting all their answers from the culture.
Today, we’ll talk about a more difficult assignment: Talking to teens and young adults about same-sex marriage. It’s more difficult because young adults today are much more likely than us older folks to support same-sex marriage, or to be confused by it. But more difficult is not the same as impossible—that’s because, no matter what the media is telling you, young evangelicals are still much less likely to support same-sex marriage than their non-evangelical peers.
I think a great starting point for young adults is exactly what I said [previous]—but at a deeper level. Just as Jesus did with the Pharisees who questioned Him about marriage and divorce, we should refer our young adults back to the Garden of Eden, to God’s created intent. Marriage is not something that human beings invented—so it is not an institution that we are free to re-invent. As Christians, we believe marriage was given to us by God for the benefit of man (that is, Adam) and woman (Eve). That plan is written into the moral fabric of the universe, which is why marriage between man and woman is known in every human society throughout history. That is certainly what Jesus Himself thought. And as followers of Christ, we have to care about what He said about marriage.
Now, don’t be surprised if your teen or young adult then asks, “Well, how is it right for heterosexuals to be married, but not for those who are same-sex attracted? What about their rights?”
And here is where we have to help them understand the source of human rights. As atheist Friedrich Nietzsche and the postmodern philosopher Richard Rorty admitted, we owe the concept of human rights to Christianity. It was Christianity that taught the world that every human being is made in the image of God and that, therefore, humans have innate dignity and certain rights just because they are human. Therefore, governments do not create or grant human rights. God does. Government can at most recognize those rights, and of course, should defend them. Martin Luther King, Jr., wrote about this brilliantly in his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail.”
So we can make this point: It’s inconsistent to say, well, we want to give same-sex couple the “right to marriage,” but we don’t care about what the God who made those rights says about marriage.
Another problem you may encounter with teens or young adults is that they are very good at repeating the slogans and hashtags they see every day. When they tell you that holding to traditional marriage is discrimination, take a lesson from Jesus. Respond with a question. You might ask, “What do you mean by discrimination?” Help them go deeper. If they’re convinced that “love is love” and that “love won” thanks to the Supreme Court, ask them what they mean by love? Is it possible that some kinds of “love” should be excluded from marriage? Should a brother and sister or a group of people be able to marry? In other words, do we just green light incest and polyamory?
Yes, these kinds of discussions are really uncomfortable, but our kids are already having them. It’s time we joined in.
If you’re ready to sit down with your teens or young adults, I have one more suggestion for you. I’ve created, along with my friends at Axis, a brief video series on marriage, gender, sexuality and the Bible. I tackle a lot of the questions young people come up with—and I think it will help you discuss these matters with your children. [See "Resources" below.]
[bold, italics, and colored emphasis mine]
RESOURCES
"Gender, Marriage, and the Bible: Understanding God's Plan" - John Stonestreet | Axis | July 2015;https://vimeo.com/ondemand/gendermarriagebible
"The Supreme Court Ruling: 3 Ways Parents Can Respond" - Generations of Virtue | June 27,2015;https://generationsofvirtue.wordpress.com/2015/06/27/the-supreme-court-ruling-3-ways-parents-can-respond/
So when your teen tells you marriage is all about love and rights, and asks who are we to discriminate, what do you say?
[In previous post #1281], we discussed talking with younger kids about the Supreme Court decision on marriage: How Jesus Himself referred back to the beginning when talking about marriage; about God’s beautiful a plan for men and women, for marriage, and for families. And that sometimes, governments make bad laws. I should also add that we need to make sure our young ones know they can always come to us when they encounter something they don’t understand or that makes them feel uncomfortable. We want our kids asking us the questions—even the hard ones. Better that than them getting all their answers from the culture.
Today, we’ll talk about a more difficult assignment: Talking to teens and young adults about same-sex marriage. It’s more difficult because young adults today are much more likely than us older folks to support same-sex marriage, or to be confused by it. But more difficult is not the same as impossible—that’s because, no matter what the media is telling you, young evangelicals are still much less likely to support same-sex marriage than their non-evangelical peers.
I think a great starting point for young adults is exactly what I said [previous]—but at a deeper level. Just as Jesus did with the Pharisees who questioned Him about marriage and divorce, we should refer our young adults back to the Garden of Eden, to God’s created intent. Marriage is not something that human beings invented—so it is not an institution that we are free to re-invent. As Christians, we believe marriage was given to us by God for the benefit of man (that is, Adam) and woman (Eve). That plan is written into the moral fabric of the universe, which is why marriage between man and woman is known in every human society throughout history. That is certainly what Jesus Himself thought. And as followers of Christ, we have to care about what He said about marriage.
Now, don’t be surprised if your teen or young adult then asks, “Well, how is it right for heterosexuals to be married, but not for those who are same-sex attracted? What about their rights?”
And here is where we have to help them understand the source of human rights. As atheist Friedrich Nietzsche and the postmodern philosopher Richard Rorty admitted, we owe the concept of human rights to Christianity. It was Christianity that taught the world that every human being is made in the image of God and that, therefore, humans have innate dignity and certain rights just because they are human. Therefore, governments do not create or grant human rights. God does. Government can at most recognize those rights, and of course, should defend them. Martin Luther King, Jr., wrote about this brilliantly in his “Letter from a Birmingham Jail.”
So we can make this point: It’s inconsistent to say, well, we want to give same-sex couple the “right to marriage,” but we don’t care about what the God who made those rights says about marriage.
Another problem you may encounter with teens or young adults is that they are very good at repeating the slogans and hashtags they see every day. When they tell you that holding to traditional marriage is discrimination, take a lesson from Jesus. Respond with a question. You might ask, “What do you mean by discrimination?” Help them go deeper. If they’re convinced that “love is love” and that “love won” thanks to the Supreme Court, ask them what they mean by love? Is it possible that some kinds of “love” should be excluded from marriage? Should a brother and sister or a group of people be able to marry? In other words, do we just green light incest and polyamory?
Yes, these kinds of discussions are really uncomfortable, but our kids are already having them. It’s time we joined in.
If you’re ready to sit down with your teens or young adults, I have one more suggestion for you. I’ve created, along with my friends at Axis, a brief video series on marriage, gender, sexuality and the Bible. I tackle a lot of the questions young people come up with—and I think it will help you discuss these matters with your children. [See "Resources" below.]
[bold, italics, and colored emphasis mine]
RESOURCES
"Gender, Marriage, and the Bible: Understanding God's Plan" - John Stonestreet | Axis | July 2015;https://vimeo.com/ondemand/gendermarriagebible
"The Supreme Court Ruling: 3 Ways Parents Can Respond" - Generations of Virtue | June 27,2015;https://generationsofvirtue.wordpress.com/2015/06/27/the-supreme-court-ruling-3-ways-parents-can-respond/
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