# 827 (3/22) "Abortion’s Forgotten Victims: Siblings of Brothers and Sisters Killed in Abortion"

Saturday, March 22, 2014

# 827 (3/22) "Abortion’s Forgotten Victims: Siblings of Brothers and Sisters Killed in Abortion"

The Bulletin Board: (Please SCROLL DOWN this page to find the article titled on this post in LARGE CAPITAL LETTERS. Thank you.)

URGENT NEWS/PRAYER ALERT!"Kim Jong-un Calls for Execution of 33 Christians" - 3/7/2014; http://www.presidentialprayerteam.com/Prayerwatch?pw=3651 "North Korea tyrant Kim Jong-un has reportedly ordered that 33 Christians believed to be working alongside South Korean Baptist missionary Kim Jung-wook be put to death. The South Korean missionary - who was arrested last year - and his accomplices have reportedly started 500 or so underground churches..."[PRAY that the plans for execution would be rescinded, and these believers released.] [Che\ck out: They'll Be Dead By Morning (What Difference Will It Make) http://loristanleyroeleveld.blogspot.com/2014/03/theyll-be-dead-by-morning-what.html
PRAISE ALERT! "New Hampshire Bill to Legalize Assisted Suicide Overwhelmingly Defeated" -
by Alex Schadenberg | Concord, NH | LifeNews.com | 3/7/14;http://www.lifenews.com/2014/03/07/new-hampshire-bill-to-legalize-assisted-suicide-overwhelmingly-defeated/ "Nancy Elliott, a Euthanasia Prevention Coalition International board member and a former three term New Hampshire state representative led the charge to defeat assisted suicide bill HB 1325 in New Hampshire ...The focus now turns to defeating the assisted suicide bills in Connecticut and New Jersey."
SIGN A PETITION TO THE UN FOR THE PROTECTION OF CHRISTIANS :" The church in Syria has shone brightly for 2,000 years. But today violence and persecution threatens its survival. Thanks to an incredible response, Open Doors is helping 8,000 families in Syria survive each month. We believe the signatures and prayers of 500,000 people will encourage the UN to act and protect the rights and lives of all Syrians, especially the vulnerable Christian community." Go to: http://lp.opendoorsusa.org/emails/nov-13-action/save-syria.html?utm_source=action&utm_medium=email&utm_content=button&utm_campaign=november

WORLD-WDE PRAYER REQUESTS:

NEWS ALERT/PRAISE! "Iran Allows Surgery on Ailing, Imprisoned Pastor" - CBNNews.com,March 07, 2014;http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2014/March/Iran-Allows-Dire-Surgery-on-Ailing-Imprisoned-Pastor-/ The Iranian government has finally allowed doctors to perform surgery on imprisoned Pastor Benham Irani.Irani suffered from a herniated disc and bleeding intestines and urgently needed medical care. PRAY for the final release of Pastor Irani and others imprisoned for their faith.
LATEST NEWS ALERT! - "Ukraine Diplomacy Stalled, Congress Eyes Sanctions" - CBNNews.com, March 06, 2014; http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2014/March/Ukraine-Diplomacy-Stalled-Congress-Eyes-Sanctions/ "Diplomatic efforts to de-escalate the crisis in Ukraine are off to a very slow start, with talks between U.S., Ukrainian and Russian leaders going nowhere...Meanwhile, the U.S. Congress is rushing to impose stiff sanctions on Russia, whose troops have seized control of Ukraine's Crimean Peninsula..."
NEWS /PRAYER ALERT! - Ukraine Accuses Russia of 'Invasion, Occupation'- By George Thomas, Friday, February 28, 2014; http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2014/February/Ukraine-Accuses-Russia-of-Invasion-Occupation-/ - SIMFEROPOL, Ukraine -- Russian troops now control an airport near their naval base in Sevastopol, Ukraine. Ukrainian Interior Minister Arsen Avakov is calling the siege a "military invasion and occupation." "It is in violation of all international treaties and norms," he charged. "This is a direct provocation to armed bloodshed on the territory of a sovereign state."... [Let's be in prayer as the Ukraine is facing an ever increasing threat of civil war. Pray esp. for beievers to be submitted to and guided by the Holy Spirit in how to BE JESUS during these turbulent times. May many who are and will encounter great suffering as a result of this continuing conflict find their hope and strength in Jesus by coming to faith in Him. - Stan]

NEWS/PRAYER ALERT! "Ukraine President Becomes Fugitive from Justice "- By George Thomas, Monday, February 24, 2014; http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2014/February/Opposition-Takes-Presidency-in-Divided-Ukraine/ KIEV, Ukraine -- ...On Saturday, Ukraine's parliament stunned the nation by voting overwhelmingly to impeach Yanukovych. Hours later, members of parliament picked Oleksandr Turchynov, a prominent evangelical Christian, as interim president until new elections in May. "Christians were praying on Independence Square," Pastor Kaluzhny said. "We were praying in our churches. People around the world were praying for us, and God did a miracle! Ukraine is a new country." What happens next is uncertain.
As the Lord leads, please pray:
-That the turmoil in Ukraine will be resolved
-That the leaders of Ukraine will be able to peacefully resolve their impasse
-Safety for those trapped by the violence in the nation

Oct. 23: "Christians Fleeing IRAQ Area Once Considered Safe," - CBNNews.com, http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2013/October/Christians-Fleeing-Iraq-Area-Once-Considered-Safe/ PRAY that believers in Iraq will know God's protection and provision; that believers will know[ whether they are called to flee or remain and persevere; and that their persecutors may come to hear the gospel and come to faith in Christ. - Stan]

Continue to Pray for EGYPT - Continue to pray for the tense situation in Egypt and especially for the Christian believers who are being targeted with violence by Muslim Brotherhood members.]

Update on Kenneth Bae: "US Ready to Bargain with N. Korea for Bae's Release,"- CBNNews.com, Aug 14, 2013 http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2013/August/S-Ready-to-Bargain-with-N-Korea-for-Baes-Release/ - PRAY for 1) God's healing of and presence with Pastor Bae, 2) His earliest release by the North Korean government, and 3) God's comfort for his family and friends.]

November 04, 2013 - Saeed's Life in [Greater] Jeopardy After Prison Transfer - CBNNews.com, ; http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/world/2013/November/Saeeds-Life-in-Jeopardy-after-Prison-Transfer/ IRAN - Vigils Mark One Year Imprisonment of Pastor Saeed - CBNNews.com, Thursday, September 26, 2013 - Today marks one-year that American pastor Saeed Abedini has been held in an Iranian prison. He is serving an eight-year sentence because of his Christian faith. It has been a year of torment as he has suffered beatings, physical pain from untreated medical conditions, and separation from his wife and two children... The suffering has not dampened his passion for Jesus. Pastor Abedini has led more than 30 prisoners to Christ during his time in prison.
PRAY: - For comfort and peace for Saeed’s wife and children here in the U.S.\
- For a strong witness and testimony from Pastor Abedini in the prison where God has placed him
- For Christians around the world who are being persecuted for their faith in Christ
- For leadership from the White House and State Department in defending the freedoms of Abedini and other Americans
- GO TO SaveSaeed.org to sign a petition over 600,000 others asking for his immediate release

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"Abortion’s Forgotten Victims: Siblings of Brothers and Sisters Killed in Abortion" - by Brad Mattes | Washington, DC | LifeNews.com | 3/7/14; http://www.lifenews.com/2014/03/07/abortions-forgotten-victims-siblings-of-brothers-and-sisters-killed-in-abortion/ [AS I SEE IT: This reminds me of talking with a co-worker about abortion many years ago. I'll never forget how he suddenly told me that when he was in college he and his girlfriend went and had an abortion done. He looked at me with anguish and said, "Stan, how am I going to tell my sons one day that I had their older brother or sister killed?!!" I will never forget the pain I heard in his voice that day. - Stan]

Throw a stone into a pond and the waters don’t remain still. At the point it breaks the surface, the water is disrupted by a small wave that continues rising ring after ring, expanding ever outward. While the point of impact may seem relatively small, the ensuing waves reach out in greater size, disturbing previously peaceful waters. This illustration reminds me of abortion’s effect. The point of impact may start small. We’re told it’s just a choice between a woman and her doctor. Yet, the consequences spread to the baby’s father, other family members and potentially siblings—both older and younger.

Pro-abortion activists deny that there are any long-term effects of abortion on women. So, it’s no surprise they refuse to acknowledge how abortion is damaging to the lives of others. In a recent column of “Dear Abby,” a mother writes with concern for her daughter. Out of spite, her ex-husband told their teenage daughter that her mother had a past abortion. Now, she worries about how this may be impacting their daughter. Rather than offer counsel or advice, Abby’s response is, “The fact that you aborted a child before your daughter’s birth has nothing to do with her.” Meanwhile, this young girl may be left with questions, fears and insecurities, knowing she was chosen to live, while her sibling was killed, merely for being inconvenient.

What do siblings feel? One of the most prominent researchers in the field of abortion’s effect on siblings is Dr. Philip Ney. He says that a common post-abortion symptom they experience is existential survivor’s guilt. There’s a sense that “I don’t deserve to be alive.” An internal struggle takes place with the knowledge that they lived because they were “wanted,” while their siblings were not. Symptoms can manifest as depression, anxiety, shame, guilt, self injury, low self esteem and dissociation. Unfortunately, abortion isn’t widely acknowledged as a trauma, which means that diagnosis and healing can be overlooked.

The pain felt by siblings is very real. Recently, our pro-life television program, Facing Life Head-On, produced an episode dedicated to sibling survivors. One of my guests was a young lady named Renee. Her story begins when she was ten years old. Renee’s mother was just 30 and a recent widow trying to raise four children. She got involved with a man and became unexpectedly pregnant. Doctors told her that the baby may have health issues. Struggling and overwhelmed, she felt the baby would be better off in heaven and had an abortion.

She kept the abortion a secret for 11 years before finally confessing it to her children. Renee recalls the shock and grief she felt that night. Her immediate response was to comfort her mother. She felt sorry for the pain she had endured all those years. Her mother revealed that the child was a boy she had named Joey. Somehow, that knowledge gave Renee something to cling to. Still, after finding out, she had a deep sadness as she grieved the loss of her brother. “Why was I okay to keep, but my brother wasn’t?” she asked. She struggled with forgiveness and moving on. She found her emotions to be challenging, “I am more sensitive to some things than I was before. For example, I feel pain and jealousy when I see others becoming big brothers and sisters.”

Part of Renee’s healing was found through a retreat for siblings, conducted by an organization called Lumina. She said, “For the first time in my life I was in the presence of other siblings who could totally relate to my pain and issues. It gave me the confidence to keep sharing my story in the hope that others can also receive the healing and connections I was blessed by.” Her outreach continues through a Surviving Sibling blog [http://survivingsibling.wordpress.com/] and a support group on Facebook called Abortion Hurts Siblings and Others.[https://www.facebook.com/AbortionHurtsSiblingsAndOthers]

Helping sibling survivors of abortion is a relatively new concept, so it can be difficult to find the help and resources needed to heal. With over 56 million unborn babies lost to abortion since 1973, it means there’s an entire generation of missing brothers and sisters. It’s a need that’s largely unmet and is going to continue to grow. The pro-life movement must adjust to include siblings as part of the pro-life equation. And we need to encourage the mental health community to be aware of and recognize this issue.

Let’s break through the painful silence. With each step, we can shatter the cycle, and instead, create a ripple effect of healing.

[bold and italics emphasis mine]

LifeNews.com Note: Bradley Mattes is the executive director of Life Issues Institute, a national pro-life educational group.

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Important Reminders/Personal Update

PRAY FOR THE MILITARY; go to: http://www.presidentialprayerteam.com/prayer101/ 140ksnow_v2-600px

LIFE AT CONCEPTION ACT: Please go to the following website and sign a peition call Congress to vote for a Life at Conception Act to finally have long-overdue protection for the unborn in our laws. http://nationalprolifealliance.com/rlacw_petition.aspx?pid=rs3&npla=I1ABBX12I.

PRAYER REQUEST: Heavenly Father, may our elected leaders work to solve our nation's many and great problems without ANY consideration of whether it furthers their political career, satisfies the desires of some special interest constituency, or promotes an ideological agenda that will be harmful to the welfare of this great Republic so blessed by God. May their efforts be based on the best interests of this country and Biblical principles that honor You. May they prove to be of such courage and integrity as to make the hard but necessary decisions that need to be made if America is to remain strong for not just years but generations to come. May you strengthen the resolve and add to the numbers of those who will, and in future elections remove all those who will not, for those who will not will prove to be either incompetent or treasonous and not deserving to serve America. And help each American to stay informed, discerning of what they hear their leaders say, and holding each one, especially those specifically representing them, accountable throughout their time in office, with calls, emails, faxes and letters. I ask this in the name of the Lord Jesus, Amen.

MUST READ: "Indivisible" by James Robinson and Jay Richards. gives a Biblical view of many of the key issues of our day as very few books I have ever read. Get a copy for yourself and your friends and especially your children. It's that good, that helpful. The perfect gift. Go to at: http://www.lifetoday.org/resources/current-offerToday.org/resources/current-offer and support and a great ministry in the process.

BIRTH CERTIFICATE. Be sure to have on hand a copy of your Birth Certificate. I just learned that (at least in Florida) I need a copy of it in order to get a replacement driver's license (which may have expired and you did not receive a notice from the DMV (as was my experiencve. And it will take 6-8 weeks for me to receive my copy!) It's all part of new Homeland Security regulations. So don't get caught off guard and be seriously inconvenienced as I have been.

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JOURNAL: 4/25 - I've been discouraged the past few weeks as I have been given much fewer work shifts than I started the year receiving and have received weekly throughout my time at the store. I will be doing my first shift at ANOTHER store tomorrow AND next week will be working 2 shifts elsewhere in the store to equal only 2 shifts I will be working at my regular job. What makes it worse is that I've not been given any assurance if things will improve anytime soon - or maybe get even worse. I've tried hard not to become discouraged as I always work as hard as I can.

JOURNAL: 4/5 - What a great Easter weekend! 1) It started on Sat. when I had my first shift that did not involved the Seafood department in the almost 4 1/2 years I've been at the store. I was assigned to be at the front of the store to wipe down carts when they were returned from the parking lot so that it would be clean for customers to use them. When I asked others who had done the job about what it was like, they told me how boring it was when things were very slow. Well, God blessed me with a very busy day before Easter and there was a steady strem of customers. As soon as I reported for my shift, I just got into a zone and began greeting people with enthusiasm as they entered the store. As I found myself really enjoying doing that, I began to reflect why I the work was such a good fit for me. God suddenly reminded me of how decades ago I had seen a news story about a Wal-Mart greeter and told myself that I would enjoy doing that. Of course, I was quite disappointed when I learned that the store had discontinued such a practice and I gave up on the dream I had had those many years ago. And so Saturday's job assignment was just my instinctive response to having an opportunity to do what I had once wanted to do. And I had so much fun! There were some memorable highlights - especially the look of appreciation I saw on many customers faces at being acknowledged and welcomed. (I laugh every time I reclall the times I was so excited that, rather than saying "Welcome to Publix" I blurted out "Welcome to WALMART" to which only once customer looked back to give me a double take. As I've had a chance to reflect further on that time on Saturday, I've wondered if there will be a job opening at the gatherig of believers at our temporary heaven for a greeter (: I can see how I would have a great time after I get there greeting people who come after me and welcoming them! Hmm. I just picture myself standing at the entrance with my two pet cats greting people as they arrive. How much fun will that be! (: ; and 2) Yesterday, the small house church I've been atteending for several years now had a special Easter service at a business office. Everyone there to set up for the service was busy doing something and I wasn't sure what I could do. Suddenly I saw my opportunity and went to the front door and standing there began greeting the people as they arrived. Once again, FUN! , and 3) Then, as I was relaxing d uring the early evening I got a call from my good friend of many years ( who with here husband sent the laptop I now use daily) and Becky and I ended up talking for about an hour and a half. What a great day!

JOURNAL: 3/28 - 1) Thanks to friends Carl and Russ, my new lap top computer is now working very well - though there are still things to adjust to. (; I just hope I don't wear out their patience as I keep needing to re-learn things. I really think that if I were one of Snow White's dwarfs, my name would be "HelpLess>" ): 2) I'm excited to have plans to participate in this year's Walk for Life on April 17th and am trying to remain hopeful sponsors will come through again this year; 3) I've been disappointed that my hours at work have been cut back to almost half of what they were at the end of last year. it doesn't look good that I will have worked enough by the fall to qualify for the company's health insurance plan. (don't have ANY right now); and 4 ) I've also been discouraged to wake up very tired most mornings - which I guess fits in with having more days off, but that still is not good.

JOURNAL 2/15 - God Comes Through Again! - After several failed attempts to even pull up my workplace Publix site at home to make an appointment to get a COVID vaccination shot, I was resigned to waiting for some future time when I might finally get on. (Not that I've been too concerned about gettting one.) Then, this past Sat., I shared my frustrating experiences with the pharmacist at my store who said that they had no more appointments to give out. THEN, just 5 minutes before my shift started, a pharmacist assistant stopped by the breakroom I was in to say that they had a shot to give me if I came "NOW!" Needless to say I literally ran over but it ended up taking about half an hour for them to make the necessary phone calls to arrranage for me to get a shot. But sure enough, I ended up finding myself rolling up my left arm sleeve and getting a shot! Not only that but I was given an exact time in one month to come by to get my second shot without having to go through the process of trying to secure an appointment. (I honestly think they were concerrned that I am so old - will be 70 this June - that they made a special attempt to arrange for me to get the shot.) I just praise God that I have another example of how He will step in and help his children when they are ready to give up. It was a great reminder that everything is in God's timing to do His way. How cool is that! PRAISE HIM!

JOURNAL 2/6 - Good News, Bad News! 1] While my work hours continued to be cut the past 2 weeks, there are signs that may finally be ending in the coming week. and 2] I didn't get as much done as I wanted to with the extra time I had at home the past few weeks. AND what made it most discouraging was that my computer has slowed to where it now takes me several hours to do what I usually could do in a half hour! I desperately need a faster computer but have no idea where to turn for help. [Also, found out the other day that I will need to get $5-6 hundred dollars work on my 25 year old car.]

JOURNAL: 1/27 - -Briefly stated, since last Thursday, I've become aware that at least for the forseeeable future my employer will continue to cut my work hours drastically, due to nothing I have failed to do. Needless to say it has been greatly disappointing. As they try to find other places in the store for me to possibly get more hours, GOD directed me to an article by Dr. David Jeremeiah in a monthly devotional. He pointed Christians to look at Colossians 4:2-4 in light of unexpected things happening in our life. In those verses, First, God would call us to earnestly pray Him expressing our need. Then, we are to look for the many things He has blessed us with that we can be thankful for. Third, as we look at our new sitution, we need to look for new opportunities to accomplish His purposes. (In my case, new work situations could introduce me to many fellow employees I have yet to meet whom God wants me to engage with. And four, I must be ready to effectively share the gospel as He opens the door to share Christ with the new people I will suddenly be in contadct with. Bottom Line REminder: God is NEVER surprised by whatever happens in our life. He is working it all for OUR good and to further accomplish HIS purposes. Believers need not fear the unexpected because we ALWAYS have a loving God who has it ALL worked out! Praise Him. [Note also Ex. 4:31 "And when they heard that the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their misery, they bowed down and WORSHIPPED!]Breifly stated, since last Thursday, I've become aware that at least for the forseeeable future my employer will continue to cut my work hours drastically, due to nothing I have failed to do. Needless to say it has been greatly disappointing. As they try to find other places in the store for me to possibly get more hours, GOD directed me to an article by Dr. David Jeremeiah in a monthly devotional. He pointed Christians to look at Colossians 4:2-4 in light of unexpected things happening in our life. In those verses, First, God would call us to earnestly pray Him expressing our need. Then, we are to look for the many things He has blessed us with that we can be thankful for. Third, as we look at our new sitution, we need to look for new opportunities to accomplish His purposes. (In my case, new work situations could introduce me to many fellow employees I have yet to meet whom God wants me to engage with. And four, I must be ready to effectively share the gospel as He opens the door to share Christ with the new people I will suddenly be in contadct with. Bottom Line REminder: God is NEVER surprised by whatever happens in our life. He is working it all for OUR good and to further accomplish HIS purposes. Believers need not fear the unexpected because we ALWAYS have a loving God who has it ALL worked out! Praise Him. [Note also Ex. 4:31 "And when they heard that the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their misery, they bowed down and WORSHIPPED!]

JOURNAL - 12/9 : PURRTY: Bad News, Good News 2X - Last Friday I received word that tests show that my special friend and housemate has renal failure that is tied into her having kidney problems. (Again, my last cat friend Squeaky died in large part to undetected kindney infection.) She is being treated with a special prescription diet that she has taken to, though it is limited to just 1/2 cup a day. I am believing God that with the right treatment, my friend willl somehow make it not just to her 15th birthday next April but even surprass Squeaky and reach her 20th birthday. One blessing that has happened that may or may not be related but since last Wed she has taken to cuddling up with me whenever I lay on the bed under my warm blanket. She has not done that in many months and those are very special times for me. In fact, I'm off to have some of that special time right now!

JOURNAL: 11/28 - What Can I Say: 1) I had a close call on Tuesday when I found an email that announced confirmatkon of an order for over $5,000 of stuff from Amazon. It did look very real and so I called the number provided and got into a conversation with 2 guys with thick accents that made it hard for me to understand. They finally lost me when they asked me to go to any store nearby and buy 3 E-Bay cards that would be used to stop the crooks from purchasing things from E-Bay in the same way. THAT just didn't make any sense. The fact that there had been no money taken out of my bank account in the first place also told me that what a friend I emailed had told me was probably true - it was all a scam! I should have been angry but I was just simply relieved. It all just made me feel embarassed to be another senior who almost got taken. While their email didn't allow me to send a reply, I very much wanted to send them a reply that included Heb. 10:31 and Rev. 20:15! Whatever money I might have been taken for really does pail in comparison to the eternal judgement the scammers face. 2) Took Purrty to see the vet for follow-up for some anti-biotics she was given several weeks ago. The vet expressed concern that Purrty continuing to occasionally pee and poop outside her litter boxes might mean she has some kidney infection. That really scares me as my last cat Squeaky died in large part to an undetected kidney problem. I am supposed to take her back Monday for some tests. I do wish that if there is some problem they can treat it with some kind of medication (sigh). and 3) I continue my fast of ice cream as I and the over 70 million who voted for President Trump's re-election wait for some kind of miraculous court ruling. I find it hard not to feel fear for the US should the president not be re-elected.

JOURNAL: 11/24 - Four Years. 1 Sam. 2:30 - I started working at Publix Market in Avalon 4 years ago TODAY. It was a struggle the first few weeks in getting used to working in a retail outlet. There have been many times of mistakes and struggles but somehow the Lord has brought me through it all. I confess that I first looked at it only as a place to have employment to earn money to pay my bills. (I began at age 65 because I suddenly discovered I didn't qualify for Social Security or Medicare - and still don't) But it wasn't long before I realized that GOD has me working especially to meet people - and I have met many dozens - of fellow employees and customers. I've sought to BE Jesus as best as God has enabled me and have also tried to share the gospel with as many as I could. I've come to regard my workplace as my "mission field" and it's now the primary reason I believe God has me there. How much longer will I be here? As long, I suppose, as God gives me the health and ability to continue doing a good job. As I've told many, my job is an adventure, another chapter in the life journey God has called me to for over 47 yeasrs now. PLEASE PRAY WITH ME that as long as I am here I can make some kind of impact for the Kingdom. I do it all by faith, trusting God that just maybe I am making a difference that honors Him. Other than that, nothing else matters.

JOURNAL: 11/18 - ANOTHER Incredible Week! - 1) I was saddened at work to learn that my most favorite asst manager was suddenly being transferred and leaving to work at another store. ( I still can't get over how many people leave and new people replace them.) I am glad I was able to give her several gifts and included a 3 page letter in which I shared the gospel. 2) On the upside at work, I've had conversations with 5 people in the past 2 weeks, 4 of them for the first time! That is more than I have had in almost the past 6 months; am so blessed! and 3) as I was leaving work, I noticed my car keys was not in my pocket but didn't panic as I now always carry a spare in the other pocket. Then, when I got to my car, I found the missing key lying on the ground right next to my car! (Amazing that no one found the key lying there and drove off with my car!) GOD has protected me in this way so many times it's almost scary. He truly is a GOOD God!

JOURNAL: 11/7 - WHAT A WEEK! After having learned that 2 of my friends from when I first became a Christian (47 years ago this past Tues.) had both died recently within weeks of each other, I learned MONDAY that my former ministry leader and friend, Ben Jennings, had been in ill health and died in August of LAST YEAR! Then, Tues was supposed to be a fun day - to celebrate my 47th "re-birthday" and hopefully to see the president re-elected and to have my new refrigerator finally delivered. Not only was the election results put on hold, but the refrigerator that was delivered was MUCH smaller than what I had expected and so I was forced to have them take it back. Over the next few days, it took several phone calls to finally arrange to have a new fridge delivered - thankfully by THIS FRI. The stress of those calls and the on-going election drama was weighing on me when I went to work on Thurs. after my day off on Wed. But just as I was waiting to start my shift, the breakroom was suddenly filled with young adults expressing very anti-Trump sentiments. It got to where one young lady suddenly blurted out things like "oh, she (a woman who had previously worked at the store) was such a racist!" and "minorities who voted for Trump are just so stupid!." Finally, a young man I know is a Christian suddenly blurted out, "I am pro-life but the govt. shouldn't be interfering with a woman's right to have an abortion." THAT was when I finally wanted to say something but then the room suddenly emptied out. All through my shift I felt great stress and anger and sadness that so many young people were so accepting of politically correct talking points and that they would determine our future leaders. I somehow made it through my shift and to my car where I proceeded to turn to the local Christian music station, not knowing what music I would be hearig as many times I don't recognize the current popular Christian songs. Just then, though, they were playing "Jingle Bell Rock," a fun song from many decades ago, and I found myself just burssting out laughing. That song was followed by "Hark the Hearald," my favorite Christmas carol, which was then followed by Johnny Mathis singing "Sleigh Bells." I remember just bursting out laughig and sang long. Though a bit early for Christmas music, I took that music to be God's way of releiving my stress and simply making me forget all the negatives I've had to absorb lately and to simply FEEL good. Since then, I did get a great fridge delivered yesterday and have been trying to get some rest. I'm a little concerned I may be coming down with a cold, but the Christmas music and the new fridge have helped to ease the stress of the election uncertainty. Also, my reading of Revelation as part of my churh's Bible reading plan has reminded me that yes, ultimately, with God in control somehow ALL will be well for good one day!

JOURNAL: 10/29 - I got a surprise call last night from my former mentor Leonard A. Mahoe. I got an even greater surprise when he told me - in response to my inquiry about my former mentor Hal Jones - that not only had Hal died several days ago after suffering a heart attack, but that several weeks ago another mentor Tom Nakamine had died after a 24-year battle with cancer. Even with the sadness I felt, I was comforted by the phrase God placed on my heart while I worked on Tueday after having learned I will not qualify for Publix health insurance for at least another year. I was comforted by the thought that even more valuable than any health insurance policy was the knowledge that as a believer in Christ, I have "Eternal Heavenly Assurance." My long time friends are now at HOME with Jesus and one day I will get to join them. How great will THAT be!

JOURNAL: 10/25 - Overall, it was a good week. 1) Started off bad on Monday night when I god into a LOUD argument with an assistant manager (being falsely accused of something continues to cause me to "lose it"); 2) but Monday was also the day I was finally able to secure a new frdige (though a little smaller than my present one) - this one online from Best Buy. I was first told the delivery would not be until Dec. 8th but on Tues. it was moved up to Nov. 3. just 10 days away!, 3) finally arranged to take Purrty to see the vet on Monday to see if she does not have a urinal tract infection and have it treated; and 4) was able to talk briefly with new guy Sam in the meat dept. over one of his break, even though my attempts to have conversations with several others I've connected with didn't happen because our schedules conflicted. Very discouraging! But agagin, not a bad week.

JOURNAL: 10/10 - 1) I've started to get to know a co-worker to where I am ready to begin sharing the gospel with her but our schedules just haven't allowed for us to have time to touch base recently. I do PRAY that I can resume talking with her soon. and 2) I may need to replace my refridgerator VERY soon and am hopeful of an appliance repair guy giving me input. I PRAY that I can see this resolved soon.

JOURNAL: 9/19 - GENday! What a crazy time it has been with so many "surprises" (mostly unwelcomed) during the past nearly 5 months. It was all symbolized by my finding one of my 2 Dollar Store yard ornaments missing from the tree in my front yard. It's never happened before and it makes me sad to think someone would do something so petty. I guess it's just the kind of times we've devolved into. I do take pleasure, however in that I mark my 70th GENday today. I re-posted my article from 8 years ago explaining it and hope that others will also start noting the day and help develop the mindset that our lives do not begin when we are born but when we were first created in our mother's womb. From CONCEPTION, ALL life is precious!

JOURNAL: 8/22 - 1) About 2 weeks ago, what I thought was a mosquito bite had grown to be the size of my thumb! I saw a doctor 2 days later and she gave me some anti-biotics which seems to have significantly lowered the size of the inflamation. (She believes it was caused by a skin infection at the site, though I have no idea how that happened.) I'm praying the swelling will finally disappear as I just took my last pill this morning. 2) I've felt esp. tired and feverish since Tuesday during the morning and early afternoon hours. (No, I'm sure it's not THAT!) I'm praying that I will be able to see an improvement in the days ahead.

JOURNAL: 7/15 - 1) Purrty has become as well as ever, though he still is a bit finicky about eating the good food given to him. It's hard not to spoil her with special treats, esp. when she makes me happy when she does eat her food as she should. 2) I've learned that I should have been more careful in agreeing to the treatments of the dentist I have had since last fall. They may have not only been too extreme measures but also more costly than they needed to be. I just saw another dentist who suggested a different and less expensive treatment plan. Now to decide whether to trust in this dentist's recommendations. Frustrating when seeing a "professional" becomes a questioin of who can you trust.

JOURNAL: 7/4 - PURRTY UPDATE: As I said in my last post, Purrty has been doing well - overall. HOWEVER, she continues to be spoiled in her eating, not going near the dry food she should be eating and meowing repeatedly for some cooked chicken that I was giving her as a treat. She woke me up about 3 am this morning and when I put dry food in front of her, she refused again and again to eat anything. It got me so mad I started screaming and could have punched a hole in the wall but instead kept slapping my hands together loudly in frustration. I need for Purrty to finally not be so fussy and just eat her food. Pray I will remain persistant and stay calm and that she will finally get back to eating as she did months ago.

JOURNAL: 7/1 - PURRTY UPDATE: She has been eating well, not throwing up, and pooping more often. I have never felt like she is "back to normal" in about 2 months. So encouraged!

JOURNAL: 6/26: Purrty finished her anti-biotic treatment this past Tuesday. But she continues to hardly eat the good, balanced dry food she had eaten before her recent health episode. She is just so thin. She seems to only want "human food" like cooked chicken but the vet says that she needs balanced food. It's been suggested she may need to see a specialist who will charge between $800-$1000 for a consultation and blood work. I continue to be frustrated as to how to proceed. I can' help but feel like I'm being milked like a "cash cow" when all I want is to have my best friend healthy and well. I hug her and pray over her every chance I get but I have no sense of what God wants me to do next. I don't remember feeling so helpless and joy-less. I am asking God to give me wisdom and His supernatural joy during this very difficult time.

JOURNAL: 6/18: Ilm feeling overwhelmed with all the things that's been happening. 1) Most important, Purrty - who's lost a lot of weight lately - is continuing to eat rather little. The vet is recommending more expensive blood tests and even to go to see a specialist. I SO do love Purrty and will of course do anything to help her be healthy, but it's all becoming so costly. I keep trying to be sure whatever is recommended is absolutly necessary but nothing seems to be inexpensive. It's hard not to be conscious of all the work you've had to do to earn the money to pay for things like blood tests and now specialists. Add to this past few days is the battle each morning to pry open Purrty's mouth to get her to take her liquid medicine. 2) On top of this, there is discovering that I need to get my driver's license renewed and that, with the COVID- 19 changes, I have to have an appointment to do that and can't get one for at least another week. Then there is learning that I need to climb up on my roof to clean the gutters and address some other problems in my yard. It's all just got me worn out with surprise after surprise. I just praise God HE is still in control and HE is never surprised!

JOURNAL: 6/14 - The vet left me a message yesterday saying that the extensive tests they did on Purrty showed that one of the problems he has is a urinary tract infection. In order to deal with that, I'll need to give him ORALLY a liquid antibiotic. I tried to hide it in his food but then I go back to strictly dry food on Monday. And so, after MUCH prayer, I finally got Purrty to settle down enough for me to pry open her mouth to shoot the liquid in. Sheesh - we BOTH hate that! I just pray that the medicine does it's job. (I also learned that she still has fleas but I don't know what more to do for her,)

JOURNAL: 6/11 - This past Monday was particularly difficult. My cat Purrty has continued to vomit every few days and I wasn't sure what the problem was. Then on Monday, an email appeared in my email box in which a veterinarian said that an animal vomiting could mean it had cancer. Yikes! 2) Then, later in the afternoon at work, I learned of a fellow worker whose dog had suddenly died several weeks ago because of undetected cancer in his body! This person insisted that there was some kind of blood test to detect for cancer in animals. This turned out to be wrong.) Talk about being distracted when I finally went to work that day by the emotions all this caused. The next day I made an appointment for a vet to check out Purrty. Yesterday the vet saw the need to run over $500 in various tests to try to see what exact problems there might be with Purrty. At this time, the doctor is still waiting for final results from the tests they ran. Meanwhile, I'm struggling with the thought that I would have to say good-bye to Purrty, who is not just "a pet" but my closest love one. This has all been expensive but I am ready to do anything to help extend the life of my best friend. It's just one of the hardest things I've had to release to God's care in a long time.

JOURNAL: 5/30 - In the 3 1/2 years that I have worked at Publix, last night clearly stands out as one of the highlights. One of the assistant manaers, Katy, arranged a special graduation celebration for the dozen employees at our store who have just graduated from high school or college but because of the pandemic will not have the traditional graduation ceremony by their school to celebrate their great acheivement. Right as my shift ended, she had an area near the store's entrance marked off with even a small stage on which each graduate was able to walk across, get their picture taken, and receive an achievement award from Publix. She even arranged to have some of the musically gifted employees to form a small orchestra to play the traditional graduation march and she gave a great commencement speech besides. Her efforts to affirm those young people just emphasizes how much I believe that one of the key tasks of management is to affirm their workers as much as possible. Katy does that as well as anyone I know. It is truly a PLEASURE to work at Publix when there are managers like her.

JOURNAL: 5/21 - I'm very encouraged that Purrty appears to be back to normal. And now that I finally started her on a topical medication, she should remain healthy as I keep up the treatments each month. I as well have gotten much needed rest after the past month of focusing on getting her better. I'm very grateful for the many prayers offered up for her and myself. I just hope there is not another repeat of that anytime soon.

JOURNAL: 5/13 - Just got back from taking Purrty for another blood test. I was stunned to have the technitian returning her to me to comment that they found fleas on her. I had noticed she was scratching a bit the past few days but refused to believe that there were any fleas on her, esp. when I daily had been combing her and not finding any fleas. I just pray that getting her some flea medication will make a difference and that the vet will NOT have me do another flea treatment. That just takes so much effort to do. It's all so discouraging after I thought there had been great progress made last week. / 6 pm - Just spoke with the vet who said that Purrty's red blood cell count is finally up to 30, which is normal. The fact that she had fleas on her may just may mean they are responding to the house being treatment. In a few days, I will now start her on a topical treatment that shoud hopefully bring the flea problem under control. Praise God!

JOURNAL: 5/6 - It's been quite a 2 1/2 weeks since my last post. Just 2 hours after the encouragement of Purrty finally drinking some water, I noticed her looking deflated with a look that said, "I'm reallynot doing well." This time I didn't hesitate and rushed her to the animal emergency hospital down the street. After sitting in the car for 3 hours waiting to even be allowed into the building, we then waited another hour before they took her in for the vet to see her. I was finally told that Purrty was suffering from acute blood anemia and would need a blood transfusion. I remember going numb when the paper they had me sign to allow the procedure asked if I wanted them to use CPR or DNR (allow her to die!) in case something went wrong during the transfusion! That night, I almost had an emotional breakdown expecting to go home and getting a phone message saying that Purrty had died! What followed was a battery of tests the next day with they telling me that I needed to treat my house for fleas as Purrty had ben attacked by them. (How does a strictly indoor cat get attack by fleas enough to almost kill her?!!) I ended up suspending my blog for 2 weeks and spending every day doing major cleaning in my house. Then yesterday, I finally flea bombed every room in the house, including the garage. (Once the stress of cleaning for hours and then going to work caused me to become short of breath. Then, this past Sunday, I got up and felt the wind had been knocked out of me and spent 3 hours sleeping before getting up and doing more cleaning and then going to work.) TODAY: Just a little after 1 pm I got a call from the vet who went over Purrty's bloodwork from this morning. At the time of her transfusion several weeks ago, her red blood cell count had fallen to only 10 points when it should be around 30 points. After the transfusion, her count went up to 20 points but that was still quite low. Last week, her blood count had only gone up ONE point, which was discouraging but at least it had not decreased. The vet told me that TODAY's count was up to 28 points - which is spectaular but she still wants to see Purrty reach the 30 point level and so she will be checked again NEXT WED. I PRAY that Purrty will continue to improve and reach that threshold next week. Also pray that the flea treatment I did yesterday - including the garage! - was effective in killing whatever flea eggs that had been in the house. I PRAYALSO that I will not have to repeat that treatment again in a month as the vet suggested. PRAISE GOD for today's great news!

JOURNAL: 4/19 - This past Wed., I noted my precious cat Purrty's 14th birthday. The following day I noticed that she was not eating or drinking water. Yesterday, after she started eating, I held of f taking her to the emergency animal hospital . It was hard to wait since my last cat Squeaky died suddenly just before her 20th birthday because of conditions she was suffering that i did not know about. All night at work, I wondered what I should do and was in constant prayer. Then,when I got up this morning, I presented a fresh bowl of water to Purrty, and she drank for a good while. Talk about feeling like Resurrection morning! Wow! Thank you Lord for such an ecnouraging answer to my many prayers!

JOURNAL: 3/19 - I praise God that thus far he has allowed me to have good health in the midst of this going worldwide health crisis. I was, however stressed out and disappointed earlier this week when: 1) A customer I was helping at work suddenly "lost it" when my hand accidentally touched a food product I was handlng. Even after I corrected my error, she ended up complaining to the store manager, who not only came to my work error to call me on it, but who also called my dept manager at home and he called and called me out as well. (The stress this caused me was in addition to several other customers who presented stressful orders. That was also my fifth straight work day and so I was already exhausted.) It was one of the most difficult nights I've ever experienced. Now, if you can get this virus if you are too stressed out, then...., and 2) I had purchased advanced tickets for a special film showing and been looking forward to spending time with some friends this past Tues. only to learn just 10 minutes before they were to come and pick me up that the theatre had closed because of the virus. Ouch! The only bright spot was having the thougt occur to me - in the midst of that horrible Monday night - that while I have only several rolls of toilet paper, my cat has about a 7 month supply of cat litter stored in my garage. I smiled when I thought of my trying to use cat litter (: P.S. - When I returned to work, I was surprised to find our managers had laid out a table in our employee breakroom covered with all kinds of treats to thank us for all our work during these difficult days. Then later, one of my first customers kept thanking me for my service. Through these actions, I felt God assuring me that yes, He would give me things to encouage and sustain me through this difficult time.

JOURNAL: 2/19 – I praise God that my health has been well after the antibiotic I was given to deal with the chest congestion I had finally knocked that out 2 weeks ago. Right now, I find myself focused on 2 things: 1) trying to secure more sponsors for my effort this year in the Walk for Life fundraiser. The response has been slower than in past years but I am trying to remain hopeful that at least the minimum goal I have set will be exceeded – as will the goals of others Walking with me from my church.; and 2) looking for more opportunities to share Christ with co-workers and customers. Then, just last Friday, I had a chance to briefly speak with a customer who had announced that he and his wife would be leaving the area at the end of Feb. and that he would probably not be returning to shop at the store. I was passionate as I shared with Pete, and only hope that at the next – and probably last meeting we have when he stops by for the last time – I would share that which would cause him to understand the need to trust in Christ and come into a relationship with God. I’ve always known I would be a sower of the gospel but I still struggle to want to be part of the harvest, of actually seeing people come to Christ. I pray that Pete will be part of that harvest.

JOURNAL: 1/18: On 1/2, I started to get a running nose. Took some over the counter nasal decongestant but a week later I ALSO started to have chest congestion. The over the counter medicine I took didn't do much for the congestion and so this past Wed I finally so my doctor. She gave me an antibiotic that is supposed to work in a week. It seems to be helping but hope the congestion is finally cleared up by next Wed.

JOURNAL: 1/1 - Can't believe it's been over 2 months since I last posted a personal update. Just seemed to be as busy as ever and not much new happening. Just to make note here: 1) I felt I was too busy to send out Christmas cards this year. But then, when I started with one to a co-worker who has been recovering from injuries from an accident for several months now (Brandon), it got me to write cards with about 2 pages of writing to a fellow Christian at work (to encourage her); a follow-up to a card explaining the gospel I had written several years ago to my immediate supervisor at work ; cards with about 2 pages of personal notes to each of about 8 fellow employees at work. Phew! A lot of effort but I'm greatful God gave me the energy and wisdom to do so; 2) Been blessed by my neighbor Matt who has continued to come over and do yard work for me without my ever asking him as well as help me with other projects for the home, as he did just yesterday; and 3) struggle to remain hopeful that I will be able to connect with at least one fellow employee in the months to come about spiritual things. Being a sower of the gospel can be discouraging when there is rarely an affirmative response from someone. But there is something about a new year starting that renews my hope for such a breakthrough. Praying much for that anyway.

JOURNAL: 10/30 - Trick or Treat? Confronting people has never come easy for me. But lately, I've found myself becoming bolder in confronting unfairness. a) I pressed the telephone company rep. as to why they were ready to increase my rates in December (that I was suddenly told about) when they were at the same time supposed to lower my rate for being a loyal customer - all discovered when I simply challenged him about the rate I've been paying!; b) I challenged a drug store manager as to why they had a product on sale that would expire before all the medicine could be used!; c) I confronted a customer at work who i suspected was involving me in trying to get away with paying less than what she was required to. I've just become fed up with wrong doing I see around me and being the victim of others' unfair actions.

JOURNAL: 10/23 - Wow, what a week it's been! Just hours after posting my blog post for the day which included my latest Journal entry, my internet went down. It has stayed that way (which also meant I couldn't use my phone since then because my phone system is tied to the internet) for the past week. Talk about causing stress -yikes! I had to bother my neighbor EVERY DAY to use her phone; praise God she was very understanding and patient. By this past Monday and Tuesday night at work, however, I felt the strain and barely made it to my first day off in a week TODAY, when the technician from the phone company finally came by to fix things. Though these have been a difficult week, I was blessed by my neighbor as well as another neighbor suddenly stepping forward to pressure wash my driveway and work on my front yard as well as by a friend who came by to take a look at the computer (though he was unable to solve the problem). Finally, I did receive the disappointing news just today that the platelett level in my blood has become too low for me to continue giving phresis blood donations (that helps cancer patients and which enables me to give as often as every other week!) I've enjoyed giving in thart way for MANY years; it's very sad to see my opportunities to help in this way end.

JOURNAL: 10/16 - Wow! What a 2 weeks it's been! During that time 1) I finally had my major dental procedures completed AND I've finally established good dental habits that should help me prevent great troubles in the future; 2) I've started doing daily walks for exercise after suspending them for several years; 3) my platelet level has suddenly become good enough for me to resume giving pheresis blood donations (allows me to make donations every 2 weeks rather than every 2 months; yes, I enjoy donating blood more than any other activity); am also excited that my last donation allowed me to reach the 40 GALLON mark!; 4) in the wake of one co-worker being seriously injured in a motorycle accident AND another's roommate suddenly collapsing at home AND my almost being run off the road by another driver AND just learning of a friend who had been battling cancer having died 2 months ago, I've been struck by the urgency to share Christ with others. And so, last Thurs. I asked a co-worker directly if he was certain he would be granted entrance into Heaen should he suddenly die. When he confessed he wasn't sure, I handed him a gospel tract and challenged him to read it - not really sure he would even bother. Well, the next day he told me that he had not only read it but had prayed the prayer it contained to place his trust in Christ! I've not had a chance to confirm if he truly understood what he did but at least the door is hopefully opened to discuss spiritual truths with him. This has been so encouraging as I have rarely had a chance to share Christ with someone in awhile as well as not seen someone I knew actually receive Christ in a LONG time. Whew! It's truly been some 2 weeks!

JOURNAL - 10/2 - 1) I just completed several expensive dental procedures. I pray that the dentist's work will prove lastnng and that I will be more discipled personally to take care of my dental health. 2) I've also been struggling with anemia for many months now. The doctor think it's low iron in my blood but hasn't found an answer to my constant tiredness. I pray that I would see a breakthrough in renewed energy SOON. 3) I've been at my job at Publix for almost 3 years. I've had only several opportunities to share Christ with other employees. I SO want to be able to BE JESUS and get a chance to SHARE Jesus with more fellow employees and customers I've gotten to know. zI pray that God would bless me with some great breakthroughs in the months ahead. (I mark my 3rd anniversary working there just after Thanksgiving.) 4) My cat Purrty has been especially finicky about his food lately. I need to take him to the vet but am wary of having to pay for some expensive procedure to help her be better.

JOURNAL: 9/11 - Late last month, I secured a temporary dental insuance policy that was going to help me greatly in offsetting great expenses awaitiing further dental proceedures this week. Then, just last Friday, I learned that the insurance company had not been given the proper notice of my signing up and so I was going to lose out of the savings I thought I had secured. What followed was hours of back and forth with the insurance company and my dental office, with even at one point yesterday morning that I was on the verge of just cancelling everything. But just when I was about to do that, an insurance company rep. (the 4th or 5th one I had talked to) finally worked things out with the dental office. The hassles of trying to work with an insurance company again incredibly stressed me out. It's hard to know why things are made so much more complicated, with details being unveiled after I had signed up. Sheesh!

JOURNAL: 8/24 - It's been quite a few weeks. 1) When I had my stressful week 2 weeks ago, I was so anxious to go home one night that I suddenly raised my voice at a customer. The woman reported me to the manager and for awhile I thought I might get fired. I did end up with a reprimand in my record, despite my explaining the situation to my boss. (It is discouraging how the many times customers commend me after I've waited on them rarely get reported but one customer's complaint does.) On the plus side, the bleeding from the dental surgery finally stopped a week later AND I've been able to find some temporary dental insurance that should save me hundreds on procedures I did have to postpone till the beginning of Sept. Then, last week, in trying to get my cat into her pet carrier, I was scratched up really bad. Later, after she was given her vaccinations, I was told she probably needed to have her teeth cleaned (the coincidence with my condition is kind of funnywhich I have since learned could cost as much as $400! Yikes! Crazy! Finally, just this past Thursday, my doctor said that blood tests I had taken show I have been feeling increasingly fatigued because I have low iron in my blood. Hopefully the rather inexpensive supplements I've started taking - along with watching my diet more - should help. BUT, I also found out that I need to get a colon cancer screening done but since I don't have insurance I'm not sure where to go. So much to trust God for.

JOURNAL: 8/10 - This was incredible week for unexpected major expenses. 1- My car maintenance visit on Monday ended up costing almost $200, and 2- I ended up having 2 days of dental proceedures. The proceedures themselves didn't hurt but the cost of them and some others I also need done soon causes me to finally get dental insurance. I PRAY that I can secure something that really helps me BY NEXT WED when I am supposed to have my next proceedure. (I took an ibuprophen before going to work yesterday to help with bleeding at one site and - not sure if it was the cause - ended up w/ an upset stomach and light-headedness while at work, forcing me to have to leave work early.)

JOURNAL: 8/5 - After the month of June was filled with many MAJOR expenses, it was good to have no such last month. But then, last Thurs., Aug. 1, I learned that I will need to undergo major dental surgery tomorrow AND that there will probably be more procedures coming up. (Praise God, not having insurance, I was also able to discover a dental discount plan that should help a lot.) Then on Sat, when I called a retired friend of 3 decades for a talk we have every few weeks, I learned from her son-in law that she had gone home to Jesus almost a week ago. All of this and suspecting a customer/friend at my workplace may have died recently AND struggling with fatigue for several weeks now has made for a difficult time. (A great distraction from all of this have been 2 great books from the public library I've enjoyed reading.)

JOURNAL: 7/13 - The week was highlighted by my cat Purrty lying on my stomach while I watched my favorite show of the summer, America's Got Talent. She had not done that for almost 2 months and the time of companionship was definitely very special. Also, in continuing to do cleaning around my house, I "accientally" discovered a digital camera I thougt I had mistakenly thrown away YEARS ago! Now to just get someone to help me figure out if it still works AND how to use it.

JOURNAL: 6/29 - After several weeks of struggle trying to secure home owners insurance and encountering roadblocks and being repeatedly passed from one sales rep to another, I FINALLY was able to secure a good deal yesterday. It all contributed to an incredibly stressful month of June that I am so grateful is finally coming to an end. I can only PRAY that I can catch my breath and be able to work on other things with less hassle. One of the bright spots this past month was celebrating my birthday (after not having done so for 35 years0 as a tribute to my Mom and Dad (Mother's Day and Father's Day both preceeded my birthday0). I also took great pleasure in the the 3 audtions on the program "America's Got Talent" that I have noted on my blog post that are so amazing and fun to watch.

JOURNAL: 6/10 - Although I've made some incredible progress in house-cleaning recently (my master bathroom has not looked this good in a LONG time - yeah!), AND I am glad that after over 6 weeks my bathroom mold problem will finally be worked on beginning tomorrow (another yeah! - though it will be expensive and I am trusting God the guys will do a good job), there are still a whole lot of things that remain for me to do. I am trusting God to see that they get done, though it may still be awhile. As physically and emotionally tired as I continue to be, it has therefore been a blessing to have watched 2 particlar acts on America's Got Talent in the past 2 seeks. What's inspired me is how Kodi Lee and Ryan Neimiller demonstrate that our limitations don't need to cause us to live in defeat but to triumph over them. God bless these guys; I do hope a LOT of people are inspired as well in watching them.

JOURNAL: 5/31 - In the past 2 weeks, I've been blessed to 1) to see my car fixed for a reasonable price, 2) finding a less expensive auto insurance policy, 3) being able to get a lot of overdue house-cleaning done in the continuing struggle with my home bug problem, and 4) finally getting a mold problem diagnosed and hopefully soon treated (praying it won't be at too excessive a price). But with all of this, I have been repeatedly disappointed by those who I've learned have not done well the work I paid them to do and have otherwise sought to take advantage of me. It's led to a struggle to keep from becoming cynical of those who offer to help and feeling helpless to being again taken advantage of by someone. Add to this learning that one long time friend may not live out the week and that another may be close to death as well. It's all caused me to become physically as well as emotionally exhausted. I find myself having to stop and take a deep breath often.

JOURNAL: 5/18 - I was reminded of that old expression "when it rains, it pours." Still waiting for the mold question to be resolved but am hopeful it may not be there afterall. Meanwhile, I am also dealing with a long running bug problem in my home (LONG story) as well as the need to make decisons about car, home, and eventually health insurance. Then last night, as I was driving home from work just after 9:30 pm, I saw that the check engine light had come on. I took it in to get it checked this morning, and while it mainly deals with fixing things that affect gas mileage , the cost to repair is VERY expensive, such that I may need to look for another used car rather than pour money into my 22 year old car that's obviously wearing out. I have no idea how to find a good car that' affordable and can only hope I will be able to do so before a more major problem erupts on this car. As I was feeling overwhelmed, I was led to consider the words of the classic hymn "His Eye Is On the Sparrow." It reminded me of the prophet Habbakuk, whose book I read just the other day. (See esp. 3;17-18) It assured me that I can ask questions of why God allows certain things to happen, but in the end I am led to rejoice in a God who knows my needs fully just as He knows that of the tiny sparrow; PRAISE GOD! (Matt. 10:29-31)

JOURNAL: 5/11 - I've been anxious for several weeks now as there is a possibility of mold having formed in my master bathroom wall as a result of a water leak. Have been hopeful a friend could come by and help determine the problem and try to fix it but he's been repeatedly delayed. Praying to be able to rest fully in God's provision and protection.

JOURNAL: 4/15: Yesterday was Palm Sunday and yet you wouldn't know it as again I attended "church" where there was no mention of it. I wonder why Catholic churches note the day but Protestaant churches such as the ones I've attended in recent years let the day go by without any comment. But then yesterday, when I was reading a devotional later in the day, I was WOWed by the comment that Jesus's entry into Jerusalem on the Sunday before He went to the cross foreshadowed when - one day soon - He WILL return as King. How cool is that! It encourages me to want to help as many as I can to be ready for His return.

JOURNAL: 3/28 - What a great night ! I was able to send several hours with 2 great friends while attending a special premiere of the movie "Unplanned." It's the powerful story of a former director of Planned Parenthood who left her job and started a ministry to those working in abortion clinics. What an amazing movie; and we even began the evning with the entire audience gathering for a group photo, being led in prayer, and then reciting the pledge of allegiance! I just pray that many will go to see this movie, esp. those who are not sure why it's important to stand up for the unborn. Speaking of which, I'm still several hundred dollars short of my new goal for participating in the Walk for Life THIS SAT. I pray that God will move enough other people to sponsor me to see that goal reached. How great will that be!

JOURNAL:2/28 - It's been a disappointing month now for 2 reasons in particular: 1) I've felt tired even after my schedule has finally allowed me to regularly have 2 days of "rest" after working for 5 straight days. I've started taking a B vitamin daily as several have suggested but have yet to feel it making a difference. And 2) I've had very few conversations lately with other employees at work during the times I've continued to go about an hour early to be available. I've also sadly learned that employees tend to leave working at the store without any official word and so I may not know when I've shared with someone for the last time. And so I can never know when I've had my final opportunity to share Christ with someone, and that is very discouraging.

JOURNAL: 1/25 - Yesterday, on my way to work, I was preoccupied trying to figure out how I had misplaced a watch I had just purchased the other week to replace one that I had lost. The frustration I felt almost caused me to not see some children crossing a street as I zipped along through a narrow point in the road. But then, when I reported for my shift at work, I was almost immediately told that one of the workers in the adjacent meat dept. (who I had not known well because he worked the day shift and often left before I arrived) had unexpectedly died Wed night in his sleep of an apparent heart attack. I quickly forgot about my watch and for the rest of the evening repeatedly asked God if I had done all that I could to share Christ with him. Further, I wondered if I was really doing all I could to help others I knew to understand the importance of being prepared for eternity. To emphasize this, when a co-worker said, "Well, you never know when your time is up" I said, "Yes, but you better be ready for it when it does happen." I am now thinking through how I can be more intentional in finding occasions to share with other employees, even if it means coming to work HOURS early just to catch them on their lunch breaks.

JOURNAL: 1/11 - As I've reflected on the past year, I note some especially encouraging high points: 1) the amazing forgivness of my entire HUGE hospital bill almost a year ago, 2) regular conversations with some good friends who God has used to encourage me, 3) continuing to feel connected with some fellow employees and customers at work, including favorable responses to my sharing about the need for a relationship with God; 4) continued good health of my cat/companion Purrty, who continues to be a daily blessing; 5) all 3 of the college teams I cheered for in their post season games WON! (I am especially blessed that my overall favorite team - the Florida Gators - beat their arch rival FSU Seminoles (first time in years) but also soundly beat their bowl oppoent Michigan; and 6) the recent help of my good friend Russ who spent several hours last Sunday installing a new faucet for my kitchen sink. His servant spirit reminds me of being blessed the year before last by friends at church who came by to put up my backyard fence that had been blown down by a recent hurricane. I am SO blessed!

JOURNAL: 12/21 - It's turning out to be a rather "blue" Christmas for me. Besides just not feeling "connected" with many people during this "holly, jolly" time, things have been esp. difficult at work, with my making mistakes that at one point led me to scream so loud, if I hadn't been in a rather enclosed room I'm surprised the entire store didn't hear me ): The one encouraging thing was - in the midst of all this - being able to write Christmas cards to 9 fellow employees and customers in which I reached out to them with the gospel. I was just blessed last night when 2 of the customers I just handed cards to were so appreciative of my even taking time to get them a card. I only pray that they will have a positive response to what I shared. THAT would really make up for how difficult things have been lately.

JOURNAL: 12/8 - 1) Last Sat., I had just started my work shift when suddenly my nose started bleeding! Since I couldn't recall when that last happened and why it would do so then, it was a scary time. I tried twice to stop the flow with an ice pack but when each attempt succeded for awhile but then failed again, I finally asked the store manager permission to leave work. I ended up resting the rest of that day and the next with no change. Then suddenly on Monday - as I was resigned to need to visit the doctor, I noticed that the bleeding had completely stopped! As best as I've been able to determine, the ibuprophen that I had been taking for several days before this all happened (to deal with a slight fever) worked to thin my blood and, with my nasal passage already weakened by dealing with sniffles as well, I broke some blood vessel. Praise God it finally stopped! 2) At work, it's been discouraging that what should be a busy holiday season has not resulted in much customer flow and so my hours have been significantly cut. Once again the effects of being a part-time employee!, and 3) All of this - and some other things weighing on me - has just made for this to be another "blue Christmas." I'm trusting God to send encouragement through His Spirit!

JOURNAL; 11/24 - 1) I was very blessed to have been able to spend time with my pastor and his family on Thanksgiving. It's great to have been able to celebrate the special day with others for the third straight year! and 2) It is very satisfying to have posted my 2500th!! blog post today. (This is assuming I've counted them accurately but it should be right.) I never imagined when I started blogging over 7 years ago that I would reach this milestone. I only hope there are more people actually reading and being blessed by the things I post. I will continue to do so by faith as the Lord continues to lead and enable me to.

JOURNAL: 11/12: “Yesterday was one of the most difficult days I've experienced in quite a while as I found myself saying in effect "Good-bye" to many people I've come to know at the church I've attended for more than 4 1/2 years. For awhile now, I've felt God leading me to transition elsewhere for many reasons. No, it's not because I was not attending a "perfect" church because I've long known there is no such place. There are just churches that are a "better fit" for who we are and how we feel comfortable to worship God with others. I believe I have found such a place - a house church such as that which millions around the world worship in – and God has clearly told me that I needed to leave the church I've been attending for over 4 1/2 years now. And so I did so yesterday and it was VERY HARD. Yes, I made sure those I spoke with and gave hugs to had my contact information and encourage each one to keep in touch and let me know their praises and prayer requests. But my past similar experiences tell me that many will not do so and that our relationship has somehow come to an end this side of Heaven. The sadness of that time AND the memory of the hundreds I’ve known (and forgotten) throughout my life really struck me last night as I sought to go to sleep. Praise God many I’ve said good-bye throughout my life were believers but many others were those I knew before I became a Christian and who I have no idea if I will see one day when we all arrive HOME. Memory can be such a blessing but also such a painful thing to endure the longer one has lived….

JOURNAL: 11/3 - What can I say, but TODAY is one of my most favorite days of the year because with it I mark my spiritual RE-BIRTHday. Today is a milestone because it's my 45th but I greet it with mixed feelings. I have many great years to look back on in my walk with God and I am grateful to be working and having a place where I can go a number of times each week to BE JESUS and hopefully SHARE JESUS with co-workers. I don't know how successful I've been in doing the first part but I've been disappointed with the few opportunities I've had to share Christ with others. I'm not sure if I need to be more intentional in sharing the gospel or if God has just not chosen to give me more open hearts to shre with. ALSO, it's hard not to think of 45 years of walking with the Lord and not being aware of how I've failed to live more of a Spirit-filled/holy life. I can only pray that in the years I have remaining on this side of Heaven, I will be a more faithful servant of our Lord than I have been. In the meantime, I've recently been blessed by several God blessings, among them being able to find time to read a great novel, "Without Warning" that has to do with a man's seeking to understand the gospel in the midst of pursuing a vicious terrorist. It was 458 fast paced pages that I greatly recommend others reading. Also, I "happened" to come across a fascinating book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss entitled,"Choosing Gratitude" in the public library the other day. So filled with great insights. Well, back to my ice cream! (See post.)

JOURNAL: 10/27 - 1- I continue to receive confirmation from God that a transition to another church is coming soon. It's still sad to think of not having regular contact with many people I've come to know but God has used different things to encourage me that this is the time and the place to transition to; 2- I've continued to be disappointed that I haven't had many conversations with people at my workplace. BUT just yesterday I was blessed to be able to talk to a young girl who just graduated HS and is focused on working and making money to attend a Christian school in New Zealand. It was great to learn that her parents work with Crusade. I hope to have more opportunities to talk with and encourage her. I try to stay hopeful that there will be more opportunities to converse with people soon.

JOURNAL: 10/12 - Had a great time visiting a house church this past Sunday. I had an even greater time sitting and talking with the overall pastor yesterday. So affirming and encouraging. I look forward to how directs me from this point on.

JOURNAL: 10/1 -Yesterday, while I waited with others for the worship service to begin, you had to know that "the elephant in the room" was what nearly the entire country witnessed this past Thursday. Of course, there were those like the woman I ran into who could only gush about California considering a law requiring environmentally-friendly pasta straws! I was so incredulous I could only shake my head and walk away. What the nation witnessed was no less than the personal pain of victims of one party's partisanship and one of the founding principles of democratic justice being turned on it's head - how someone was deemed guilty until he could prove innocence. It reminds me of what is happening in scores of other countries where those in power imprison those they simply declare guilty without due process of the law. I think particularly of Pastor Brunson falsely being accused on crimes in Turkey of which he is clearly innocent. Is that kind of anarchy what our country is headed for? May we all pray that is not the case! But based on what we were witness to last Thurday, we have much to fear. In this regard, I find the outburst of Senator Linsey Graham of SC (whom I often disagree with) the most refreshing moment of an otherwise sickening and sad day. (Please note his words quoted below.) It was one of those shining moments when you see - on true "reality" TV no less - someone saying, "Enough!" Finally, I waited in vain for something to be said of all this as part of the worship time yesterday, if but prayer for our nation. I was greatly disappointed as nothing was said to address "the elephant in the room" and am saddened that - with the only real access to the Supreme God of the universe as His children - not even a moment of intercession was offered. That silence, in my view, only adds to the tragedy of what is besetting our nation. This time in our country's history was certainly more significant than the use of environmentally-friendly pasta straws! (Sheesh!)

JOURNAL: 9/14 - 1) It's been a week of fighting a cold that started with a runny nose on Monday and turned into chest congestion by Tuesday. Have been trying over the counter drugs that have dealt with it somewhat but will need to finally make an appointment to see a doctor if it's not completely under control by next week. If it's the flu, I so regret having waited to get the shot we are encouraged to get. 2) Saddened that 2 of my fellow employees at my Publix store have left - one before I could go over the gospel with her (though I did give her some evangelistic materials on her last day) and the other the young man I spoke of in my lst entry who I have shared the gospel with but wanted to emphasize the urgency of his decision before he left but he ended up leaving earlier than I expected. I'm continuing to feel an urgency to not wait so long to speak to people about their spiritual destiny. And 3) I'm excited to be visiting another church this Sunday for only the second time in many years. I don't know where this might lead but am open to God's prompting.

JOURNAL: 9/3 - It's been discouraging to not have many opportunities to interact with fellow employees during my meal breaks lately. It's been even more so in learning that threee guys that I've gotten to know are planning to leave their jobs in the coming week. I've gotten to share the gospel with 2 of them but have met disinterest. However, this past Sat. I was surprised when one of them suddenly asked me, "Do Christians think it's okay to seek revenge?" It turns out that his work environment is very "toxic" and so he plans to leave. I began to share with him occasions in my life when I could have wanted to "get even" with others but I chose not to. He seemed sober after awhile. Then, when several of my accounts involved my time in pro-life activism, he suddenly asked a question about abortion. That opened up for me to get to share extensively on one of my most passionate subejcts. Before we parted, I asked if it was okay if I prayed for him. He smiled and said, "Sure." I am PRAYing that he will consider not leaving but merely being asked to transfer to another dept. I further PRAY that I will get to share with each one preparing to leave before they do. It's all added a greater urgency to my sharing Jesus with people just knowing that any of them could suddenly leave their job.

JOURNAL: 8/22 - For many years and many, many times while I was not working years ago, I found great pleasure in giving phresis blood donations. About 3 years ago they said that they suddenly found an abnormality in my blood and forbid me to give blood again. I tried to get them to re-test me as I had no symtoms but they refused and required me to pay the expenses of having it tested. I refused and have not given since. Well, several months ago, as part of an overall series of blood work, the new doctor I had had me get a blood test ($40) that in effect confirmed I had nothing abnormal in my blood. And so, I was finally given clearance last week and TODAY I was finally able to donate again - for the first time in over 3 years. It may not seem like a big thing to many people but I SO enjoy the opportunity to give blood and probably help someone. It made for a great day!

JOURNAL: 8/16 - 1) Stressed by 2 of life 's irritations the past few days: a) While watching my most favorite show of the summer Tuesday night, I accidently hit a button on my remote and now I can't get the thing to work again and so have been without television completely since. I have no idea what to do that I haven't tried. ): b) Yesterdy, while turning off the faucet in my kitchen, water unexplainably started gushing from the faucet and would not stop for about 5 minutes; I tried to shut off what I thought was the control under the sink but I couldn't get it to move. Fortunately it suddenly stopped flowing but now I will be waiting till Sat. when a friend plans to come by to look at it. Frustratingly, it means using the bathroom sink to wash things as I don't dare try to turn the faucet back on. ): And 2) Have been discouraged that for several weeks now, I've not met anyone new nor had any good conversations with others I meet in the employee breakroom. I've been encouraged to read about nearly 2,000 members of the Army in Missouri making professions of faith in just the past 6 months, affirming to me that God's Spirit works when and where He chooses and that where I am and now may just not be HIS place and time. Also, in beginnin to read the book of Ezekiel (as I read through the Bible this year), I've been reminded how God calls each of us to simply be faithful to do what we can and that afterwards we are not responsible for what we see or don't see happen.

JOURNAL: 7/21 - This past week has been highlighted by many great moments. 1) Sunday worship was special because we actually sang TWO hymns for the second week in a row (I grew up as a young Christian on hymns and always love singing them and miss not having them be a regular part of my churh's Sunday worship.) Each week there was also a hymn that reminded me of someone I have not seen in decades and led me to pray for them. Also this past Sunday there was included in the worship time a song I have not sung in decades - one of those "oldies but goodies" from decades ago that sadly is not sung often in services I've attended. What a blessing to sing a song I enjoyed in the past!; 2) During and after the worship service, I was blessed to have different people walk up to me to affirm me, ask how they could pray for me, and then someone spent time praying with me before I left; and 3) I met several people for the first time at work during my dinner breaks; it made me realize that in the year and a half plus that I've been working there, I've met and talked to some degree with about 40 people and got to share Christ with several of them. Just to know that there could be another opportunity to meet and possibly get to share the gospel with someone has truly made going to work a blessing I never considered when I first started working. I admit there are times I feel humbled that I don't have a very significant job unlike so many friends I know BUT I've come to realize that a job that enables one to engage with people and possibly get to introduce them to Jesus is ALWAYS a SIGNIFICANT job.

JOURNAL: 7/10: Throughout my life - sadly including the 33 years I served in full-time Christian ministry - I have not lacked for situations where I met individuals who challenged my patience and in effect my faith. Last night, in the midst of a very stressful time in my work shift, a gentleman approached me who was anything but gracious in demanding something. I struggled to bite my lip and not lose my temper but I suddenly came to where I said (in effect) that he needed to appreciate that all of us workers are doing the very best we can and that he needed to be patient with us to do out job. It was hard not to want to call him what my immediate supervisor later did in privacy ("You did fine; he was just a jerk!") but it was still one of the hardest moments at my present jobthat I have yet experienced. I decided to end the evening by stopping my the customer service desk of our store and making a point to shake the hand and thank whoever was there for the very difficult job they have that I now have a new appreciation for.

JOURNAL: 7/3: 1) At Work: a) I've struggled to make it through my second straight 6-day work week. I am exhausted but am grateful that beginning tomorrow my boss is giving me several days off and will be giving me back at least 2 days off each week beginning next week. b) I've been blessed in the past week to have had several occasions to get to know other employees at the store. I am still hopeful that I can build on relationships I establish to be able to share more about spiritual things in the future. 2) Grateful for good friends. Yesterday was the first time since my unexpected hospital stay in Feb. that I was not able to post something on my blog. I lost my connection to the internet but just a little while ago my good friend Dan Lum dropped by to correct the problem. He is one of several people God has placed in my life at this time to BE THERE when I have a particular need. I am very humbled and grateful to be blessed by such friends.

JOURNAL: 6/23: While I am not surprised by the media playing to the emotions of the American people on the issue of the children at the border crossings, I've been greatly disappointed by the evangelical leaders who have responded to the emotions and not the facts of the controversy. Just the other day, while on my dinner break at work, the conversations with 2 other employees - one in her 20s and the other a grandmother - went from discussing how children end up being given more control than they were ever meant to - had both women agreeing with me that the media has greatly distorted the issue. We marveled together at how adults react in a knee jerk way when a child cries, as if somehow they are not supposed to at times and that we always need to feel guilty when they do. It encourages me to know that not all exposed to the mainstream media are jumping on the "Blame Trump" bandwagoon and can sense that what the media presents is very often not the whole truth anymore but not so subtle editorializing.

JOURNAL: 6/13 - What a crazy past few days. Monday night, on my way home, one of my tires went flat. I pulled into a fast food parking lot and tried to fix the flat but, even with the help of a store employee, we couldn't get the tire off the rim. I ended up driving the several miles home on that flat (praise God there was no traffic that I had to deal with) so that by the time I got home the tire was in shreds. Then yesterday it ended up taking hours to work out for the insurance company to send a tow truck to take me to a tire store to put on a new tire. There it was almost 2 hours before I was able to get the car driveable for me to get to work, though almost an hour late! Then at work, I was so exhausted I ended up making numerous mistakes. I was so glad to finally make it home last night. Now to get done the ton of things I need to do on this my only day off in a period of 11 days! It all makes an act on "America's Got Talent" last week that was plain silly just what I needed to find on YouTube.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elXuKBZZ6Z4

[AmericasGotTalent[YumboDump]

working is to people watch. I especially love to watch (most) children as they accompany their parents. I love watching children just freely dance in one spot, not caring who is watching them or how they are regarded. The other day, I watched as a young boy sitting in the shopping cart while his Mom was looking at the meat in the display case suddenly lean back and toss his leg up and watched as his slipper suddenly flew off and landed among the meat. (It still makes me smile just thinking of that moment.) I wasn't sure whether the Mom - obviously not pleased - would get angry as he just sat their unapologeticly enjoying his accommplishment. But suddenly picked up the boy and gave him a hug. What a picture of how God perseveres in loving us - even when we are unrepentant (though of course that is to be preferred). Also, just watching children display their pure joy and innocence is a great reminder of why God sometimes calls children Home to Heaven. Despite the grief such a passing causes those they leave behind, think of how eternity would be so much less a place of joy without the presence of children. Our temporal loss can never compare with the ETERNAL joy they will bring to Heaven!

JOURNAL: 5/29 - Last Thursday, as I rushed to punch in at my workplace time clock, I was stunned to read a notice posted that said that an employee of the store had died the previous Sunday. I later leaned that she was in her mid-thirties and had been ill for a short time before suddenly dying. Though I sadly don't even remember seeing her among the many cashiers of the store, I am still struck my how unexpectedly death can come for any of us. It deepens my sadness at not having been able to share the gospel with more of my co-workers and not seen any of those I shared with come to faith in Christ. It also deepens my sense of urgency to be able to share with more of the people I interact with. May God comfort the grieving family even as I pray He uses this time to cause them to seek Him and find the ANSWER to their eternal destiny in JESUS.

JOURNAL: 5/15 - Yesterday, I found an envelope from Florida Hospital in my mailbox. It had been almost 2 weeks since I had returned to them an application for a break in my hospital charges. Though they had already reduced a bill of over $55,0SUS.00 to just over $13,000 made me thankful and yet that still would have still been a big financial hit. I had come to be resigned to go into my retirement savings and start paying the $13,000+ bill. Expecting bad news (yup, me of little faith!), I decided to wait a day before opening the envelope. It was interesting that throughout the day, God impressed on me to sing throughout the day the chorus to the hymn "To God Be the Glory" in which are the words "...great things He hath done..." Well, I just opened the enevelope to learn that the hospital has chosen to excuse THE ENTIRE AMOUNT of my bill! Talk about a Wow! and Praise God! moment! I still have to figure out how to make payments on some other bills related to my surgery but I think I'll wait till tomorrow. TODAY, I want to just enjoy being grateful to God and the hospital.

JOURNALL: 5/11 - Yesterday, I was greatly blessed to have an unexpected opportunity to share the gospel message with a fellow employee at work during my dinner break. Then, about 3 in the morning, I believe the Lord woke me up with the following 2 thoughts: 1) On May 19th, about 2 BILLION people are expected to watch a royal wedding. And yet, every time someone shares the gospel with someone, ALL HEAVEN pauses to listen in and pray.2) EVERY DAY, the average person spend more time watching some TV program or video than will consider their ETERNAL destinity throughout their ENTIRE LIVES! Talk about short-sightedness: "What good will it be for a man if he gains the whole world, yet forfeits his soul. Or what can a man gain in exchange for his soul?" (Matthew 16:26) "Pray the Lord of the Harvest to send ou laborers into his harvest." (Luke 10:2)

JOURNAL: 5/7 - 1) I'm still waiting to hear from Florida Hospital and trying to stay hopeful; 2) Last week, I was sad to have to say good-bye to an employee at my workplace whom I first met when I started working. Though I shared the gospel with him in my Christmas card, I've not had a chance to talk with him about spiritual things and thought I would have more time. But several weeks ago I suddenly heard that he was leaving the store and planning to move to another state. The last time I saw him last week, I gave him a copy of Josh McDowell"s "More Than A Carpenter" and wrote an extensive appeal in the opening pages for him to consider the gospel. I was therefore VERY disappointed to find that very book sitting in the employee breakroom yesterday. I'm not even sure he read it but was surprised he didn't even bother to take it with him! I've always sensed that with his very independent spirit he saw need for God but his not even taking the book was such a disappointment. It pains me greatly to know that his heart is so closed to God and it scares me to realize at any time he (as any of us) can meet death and then have to spend ETERNITY separated from the God he believes he does not need. It continues to pain me that so many today have that same hardness of heart and face the same fate.

JOURNAL: 4/27 - 1) On Wed, I mailed an application to see I could get further help from Florida Hospital on various charges I've incurred. (It turns out I have already given me great financial assistance from Florida Hospital, but the charges are still incredible.) I PRAY that I will be able to receive a further reduction in the financial charges I am facing.

JOURNAL: 4/16 - [URGENT PRAYER NEEDED] I just got off the phone and learned that the Christian organization I thought was going to help me with the bills resulting from my stay at the hospital back in February will NOT (it turns out) be helping me. (While I was being prepped in the emergency room, someone clearly told me not to worry about ANY expenses because it would all be covered.) Bottom line: Not having insurance of any kind nor receiving any governement benefits, I have to hope for a price adjustments from the various places sending me bills OR I will need to dip deeply into what retirement savings I have. Paying for all the expenses (and I am quite sure I haven't seen the last of any bills such that I'm now afraid to go to the mailbox!) turning out to be more painful than the hernia problem itself. 2) God has pointed me to take on an attitude of praise by singing hymns whenever I get discouraged; He has even used some humorous incidents to lighten my spirit - inlcuding my boss telling me that as a result of the President's tax cuts I will be receiving a 25 cent an hour raise in my salary; God led me to a story about a woman in Northern Nigeria who was kidnapped by militants and held until her husband was forced to sell a part of their small farm to pay for her release. It humbled me to know that there are many who are sufferingn financially much greater than I will likely ever experience. 3) On Wed. afternoon, a good friend pledged the FINAL $20 towards my last goal for the Walk for Life and helped me reach the $900 level! PRAISE GOD; I will now begin to pray for Him to help me reach at least the $1000 level next year!

JOURNAL: 4/10 - What a blessing to have learned that the church I attend - One Hope Church - actually raised the most money for the Walk for Life this past Saturday, a first time! I was also blessed that different friends (including a number of "anonymous" people I don't know how to thank personally) helped me get me over the $800 mark. I am still hopeful that I may be able to see enough pledges come in by the end of this month to push me past the $900 level, which would pay for 3 ultrasounds and potentially save 3 babies! That would be awesome and become my goal for next year! (:

JOURNAL: 4/3 - 1) I was blessed this past Easter Sunday to have lunch and visit with my friends Josh and Alicia ; I can't remember the last time I spent time with others for Easter and was so encouraged. 2) Later that night I made a call to a friend from high school I had last talked to months ago. I had not heard from him but had no reason to suspect anything was wrong. Imagine my surprise and sadness when his wife answered and, after pausing, shared that Wayne had had an accident last November and had died shortly afterwards. My sadness was compounded by recalling that in all our recent conversations I had tried to convince Wayne to consider his need for a relationship with God and was always met with a frustrating silence. As I told his wife, I can only hope that in his last moments Wayne finally reached out to God (like the thief on the Cross did). I ended up spending most of the next hour sharing with Doreen about her need to trust in Christ. Though I was met again largely with silence, I shared with an urgency and directness I've found myself doing more and more recently. I pray that I will be able to continue to reach out to Wayne's wife and that she will finally understand her need for Christ. The entire experience has only increased my sense of urgency to share Christ whenever I can. It's so hard to realize someone will spend eternity in Hell and not Heaven.

JOURNAL: 3/27 - 1) WALK FOR LIFE: After having very little new sponsors and pledges the past several weeks, I was very excited yesterday to discover that someone had "anonymously" posted a pledge that allowed me to exceed my original goal. My new goalis now $600 and I am now just $70 short of that goal. So-o encouraged! My thanks to all who have given, esp. the latest anonymous sponsor. You rock! and 2) "The Faith of Donald J. Trump." Last night, I finished my library copy of the recently released book that looks at the family background and spiritualnity journey of our 45th President. Though many might be cynical about our President having a spiritual biography, this book is an extensive look at what motivates our President today without ignoring his less than admirable past. Such great insights I could not expect to get from the mainstream media made this a great read. I highly recommend this book to all who seek to understand our President.

JOURNAL: 3/17 - 1)Post-surgery news: Except for some pain at the site of the surgery, the pain I had felt weeks ago is pretty much past. However, if I do put a strain on that right side of my hip area, I can suddenly feel some pain and have to shuffle more than walk normally. Overall, I am encouraged with the progress that has been made. 2) Walk for Life: I am disappointed that I've only had one new sponsor over the past few weeks. There are only 3 Saturday's left before the Walk itself, so I am praying God will provide the rest of the sponsors I need in order to reach my goal by April 7th.

JOURNAL: 3/9 - Yesterday was my first day back at work after being gone almost 3 weeks. Throughout the shift (which was from 2-9:30, a bit longer than I would have liked for my first day back), I felt some pain in my right hip area (where they applied a clamp during the surgery) but thankfully the customer traffic was not too bad and I was able to pace myself. I was careful whenever I lifted anything heavy, and one time asked for help to lift a heavy box high up in the freezer. Overall, I was pleased that I was able to my job well, though I felt expectedly tired at times. I'm lookng forward to having shorter work days over the weekend and just hope I'll be up to 2 LONG days Mon and Tues. I'm very thankful for all the prayers I've received.

JOURNAL: 3/2 - It'w now been 10 days since my surgery and the pain level has gone down to about 3.5; it had been about 6.5 until just a few days ago and so I am greatly encouraged that I will finally be able to attend worship on Sunday and that I'll FINALLY be able to return to work by NEXT Thurs. as scheduled. (I'm excited that now that I'm no longer on pain meds (though taking heavy doses of ibuprofen each day) I am able to drive and no longer home bound - yeah!) I am so very grateful to my friend Russ who drove me to my doctor's appointment (maneuvering through traffic like I'm sure I couldn't have) and stayed with me after we learned the doctor had been called away and my appointment was rescheduled for 3 hours later! (It ended up being one of the best times of fellowship I've had in a long time!) I also continue to be grateful to those who've prayed, visited, e-mailed, phoned and brought over food and groceries, esp. Walt, and Mike and Justin.

JOURNAL: 2/26 - Around 1 AM on 2/18, a hernia on the right side of my groin area that had been dormant since being discovered several years ago suddenly fell out of position and I experienced INTENSE pain. By 8 am, I finally called 911 and was rushed to the hospital. The pain continued to be INTENSE off and on and so last Tuesd. (2/20) they did emergency surgery to remove it. Because of that I have not been able to post the item I had planned on for last Sunday. Though it has been 6 days, I still am on pain meds, though the pain has gone down from and 8.5 to about a 6 and I have reduced a little how often I take the meds, he pain is till very much there. I pray that the doctor I am seeing for follow up on Wed (2/28) morning will be able to give me an accurate diagnosis of whether something is slowing the healing process and whether a different medication may be needed. (Until I get off the pain killers, I cannot drive and therefore have been home bound. I am VERY grateful for those who have phoned or emailed me and those from church (esp. Walt and Mike) and my good friend Russ for having been so available to drop off food.

JOURNAL: 2/17 - The tragic school shooting in South Florida this past Wed. needs to be redeemed in the sense that it should provide a special opportunity for Christian youth leaders and senior pastors to challenge their students (whether those in middle schools , high school, or college) to BE Jesus as well as to look for opportunities to SHARE about Jesus (esp. in light of this being the Easter season). Students need to be challenged to engage with those who they know in their circle of friends and acquaintances those who are isolated, rejected, or struggling with some other emotional pain. They should be willing to do this not to necessarily give advice but to simply BE THERE to listen and comfort. We ALL need to be available to those God sovereignly places in our sphere of influence, not so much to possibly help prevent acts of violence but to simply BE JESUS as best we can.

JOURNAL: 2/10 - Noting on my blog and on my FB page that Feb. 7-14 is National Marriage Week, it was discouraging that: 1) A woman sitting in the breakroom at work spoke of never wanting to be married, expressing a cynicism about what that means that was distressing, and 2) I watched a pro wrestler 'officiate' a couple's wedding on network television during which nothing was said of it being an institution established by God; it seemed to leave the door open to either party changing their mind about loving the other person they could simply dissolve the union. It's so sad how little - when it does take place rather than 2 people simply living together - marriage is held in such low regard.

JOURNAL: 1/25 - I was SO blessed last night at my church community group ("Bible study) as we gathered to discuss this past Sunday's great message on the Sanctity of Human Life. I got to share as extensively as I ever have with others about how God has led me to become passionate re: abortion, to share the many experiences I've had BEING pro-life over the past 31 years. I only hope I did not bore people by sharing too much. I also wish that we had a larger group than just the 5 of us who were there but I'm just grateful to have gotten to share.

JOURNAL: 1/23 - This past Sunday I attended worship service at my church with great anticipation as it would sadly be only the third message I would have heard on the Sanctity of Human Life in my nearly 45 years as a Christian. Wow!, was I not disappointed as the message was not only VERY well done but it was preceded by a description of the services of the local pregnancy center that our church promotes but also included a powerful testimony by the wife of an elder who was adopted and could have been aborted. I am almost certain I saw even men wiping away tears by the time she was done. It was one of the best services I can remember attending in a long time. SO blessed!

JOURNAL: 1/16 - I've been pretty discouraged since Sunday night. I had a customer that, when I asked him to repeat something he had said, suddenly addressed me in a way that was borderline racist. I was tempted to just say, " You are a very rude person" but of course held my tongue because that's what I'm supposed to do as an employee. I work with several who are Asian-Americans like myself and it upsets me that even if they received such comments in my presence I would also have to be silent. ANYWAY, as I was doing some intercession (using some of my prayer cards) during my meal break at work yesterday, a college student I had barely met sitting next to me suddenly asked how long my shift was going to be. As I answered him, we got into a great conversation where I found out a lot of things about him. As I was leaving, he thanked me for talking with him as he says he doesn't do that with others. Later, I stepped away from my work and rushed over to give him a card I carry that directs people to a website with several short evangelistic Christian films. He was very appreciative and I was greatly encouraged. It's nice how God directs my thoughts away from an unpleasant subject to one that brings me great joy.

JOURNAL: 1/8: Sunday Church: Getting or GIVING? - Yesterday, upon waking up, I found myself debating whether or not I should make the effort to go to church. Most times when I have such internal discussions it is prompted by my not feeling well. But this time, I realized the points I was going over to justify sleeping in were based on such things as "Well, remember that sermon that bored you?; Aren't there some good things you could do at home instead?; etc." But what finally made me finally get out of bed and get dressed was realizing that going to church was NOT about how I could benefit from it BUT of how it was a time to gather with others to WORSHIP GOD as well as to give me an opportunity to BE Jesus to others in the Body of Christ - by my service or by my words. Whether or not I got something out of it should always be a distant concern. It was a great reminder that "church" on Sundays should not be about "getting" but about GIVING - worship to God and service to others. (Of course, this all changes if one is TRULY ill and most times we know the truth, don't we?)

JOURNAL: Jan 1: In the 5 years that I have been posting things on my blog, yesterday marked the FIRST time I have posted something EVERY DAY of the past year. I rarely hear from people as to what they think of what I've posted but hearing from the few who have responded has encouraged me to keep going. I can only pray that it serves as an encouragement as well as helpful information to those who are reading it. I pray that in the next year that those who enjoy it will SHARE IT with their friends and that others will also benefit from what I share. May God give me wisdom as to what to post and what personal comments to make.

JOURNAL: Dec. 23: I continue to believe that the reason God has me working as a seafood clerk is not to make extra income but to BE Jesus and SHARE Jesus with those he brings into my life. (Of course, that is His purpose for wherever He places any of us and for whatever time He has us there.) To that end, for the first time I can remember, I've written about a dozen Christmas cards for various co-workers whom I've come to know to some degree. With each personalized 2 -page note, I've included a gospel tract and directed them to a website with various gospel videos. I PRAY that each one will take the time to read the gospel tract carefully and consider the Biblical truths and come to faith as I did over 44 years ago. I trust God that having in the coming year, I'll have an opportunity to engage in conversation with most of them about the gospel and will see a number at least come to trust in Christ.

JOURNAL: Dec. 20: 1) On Monday the 11th, I woke up to find my nose dripping blood and blood in my mouth. It was of course scary but I decided to just lay back down and see if the condition would pass. I got up awhile later and did some computer work and went back to laying down. By noon, things seemed alright so I went ahead to work. Though I had a brief nose bleed episode later, I just plugged my nose and finished my shift. I spoke with a nurse the next day and she wasn't alarmed and so I decided to just wait it out. When I had another episode this past Mon., I made an appointment to see my doctor. She determined that a pus had developed in my left nostril and that was where the blood seepage was coming from. They are trying to find me an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor who could remove the puss. I PRAY that it will be soon but will continue going to work and trusting God to keep the nose bleeds to a minimum. While I'm not excited about the idea of minor surgery, I am glad it doesn't appear to be anything more serious. (The puss may have developed as a result of my struggle to fight off a sinus cold last month.) and 2) I've about given out nearly a dozen Christmas cards that in which I wrote personal notes to different fellow workers at my workplace. I pointed out to each the importance of a relationship with God and included a "Connecting with God" booklet. I just PRAY that at least a few will want to talk further.

JOURNAL: Dec 12: This past Sat. night was one of the most fun nights I've had in a long time. 1) I finally got to attend my church's annual Christmas party. While I enjoyed getting to talk with some people I've not had a chance to in awhile, as a bachelor and not a very good cook I must say I REALLY enjoyed the potluck of foods that people brought. I tried to put a little of each dish on my plate - something that is always a challenge. I can't remember when I've tasted so many great flavors in one sitting ! When I later returned with my plate of desserts, I joked that they should have put a sign at the special area saying, "Take as much as you want but be sure you have a "designated driver" to be sure you make it home! (: 2) My evening was later made complete when I returned home and lay down on the couch to watch some great police dramas. Suddenly my cat Purrty crawled up on my chest and slept the entire time! Maybe she was just didn't want to leave a warm spot in the room; no matter, she certainly warmed me up. (:

JOURNAL: Dec. 4: Recently, I've heard about friends who are still in ministry after many decades and being used of God mightily to make a difference for His Kingdom. Satan has used it to make me feel like a failure for not continuing to be in "full-time Christian ministry" and also making a difference. The Lord, on the other hand, has reminded me that I DO have a ministry in working on my blog each morning to seek to inform/encourage others. I've also been blessed to spend extended time each day to intercede for dozens of people. However, my efforts to share Christ during my meal breaks with other employees has not gone well and been discouraging. BUT YESTERDAY, I suddenly found myself sitting with a young man I had not met. I introduced myself and after awhile he shared how he was hoping one day to be an astronaut and explore "God's creation." Well, I rarely have that kind of opening and within a few minutes, I found myself sharing my testimony and presenting the gospel. He could have just been polite in listening to me (I really need to not talk so much) but I sense he was really thinking about what I shared. As I had to leave after handing him a gospel tract, I had a tremendous feeling that God had just given me reason to be hopeful that YES, though I was no longer in "official" full-time Christian ministry, God would continue to use me. Also, afterwards I felt a "high" I've not felt in a long time. There's just something about sharing the gospel that gives me a joy that I cannot describe and nothing ever equals. How I pray for more opportunities to share with JORDAN and others at work!

JOURNAL: Nov. 24: 1) TODAY marks one year since I first started working as a seafood clerk at Publix. It's definitely been a year of challenges but what I most enjoy is that it is not just a place of employment and source of income (after not having any for 8 years prior) but a place where I hope to make an impact for Jesus. Whatever time God will allow me to continue working there, I pray that I will be faithful to step into every opportunity to BE Jesus and to SHARE Jesus with others. AND 2) YESTERDAY, I got to enjoy my first Thanksgiving with others in 3 years, thanks to a woman from my church - Mervat - who invited me to her home to spend with about a dozen others, including her 3 sons and a half-dozen young men from India. It felt good to be a part of a celebration and to meet new people. And oh, wow, what great food! (I was even loaded down with a lot of leftovers to take home.) For all of that, I was truly THANKFUL. (It definitely made up for having gone about 20 miles in the wrong direction trying to find the place. Now that was an adventure! Yes, Mr. Directionally-challenged did it again!)

JOURNAL: Nov. 22: 1) Last Sat, a co-worker from the adjoining meat dept. stopped by to complain about a customer who seems to regularly come by and make requests of him that he is not allowed to refuse but which they must know cause him much heartache. As I reflected on his frustration (something rare for him), I sense God speaking to me. And so, before I left for the day, I tried to encourage him to take on a different perspective every time that customer came by. I shared how he (as a Christian) should thank God for His patience towards each of us, and for the opportunity He gives us with each such person he brings into our life to make us more patient, more like Him. AND 2) I needed that same encouragement this past Monday when I sat down with my boss for a 6-month evaluation. (This actually comes as I mark being at my present job for ONE year.) While I was not surprised by some of the areas that I need improvement, I was very surprised, disappointed, and yes even upset by comments by at least 2 of my co-workers (only one was named but I have suspicions of the others) that even my boss agreed were not justified. I struggled finishing up my work the rest of the evening feeling greatly incredulous by one particular comment and am struggling to learn patience from this "opportunity from God."

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JOURNAL: Nov. 16: Last night I attended the latest meeting of the community group of my church (similar to a weekly Bible study) that I have been a part of just over a year now. I've always stood out as I am at least 40 years older than everyone else in the group but I've felt called to be with these young adults to see if there's something each week that I could share based on my having been a Christian now 44 years. Almost every week, there are times when I just feel my age as I can't relate to much of the banter that they engage in that goes with being their age. Admittedly, I often leave wondering if I need to leave the group because I don't feel like I "fit in." Well, last night, as the last meeting before Thanksgiving, each member was asked what they were thankful for. Just after I shared, I was surprised when one of the young adults I've known since I started attending 4 years ago - Raven - expressed how she appreciated having me in the group to share from being older than the rest of them. Her comments were some of the most encouraging words I've heard in a long time. I left feeling that if just that one person felt that way, maybe God did have a reason for my being in the group after all.

JOURNAL: Nov. 6 - 1) I ended my latest 40 days of "fasting" on Friday by celebrating my 44 years of having a relationship with Jesus with ice cream (my favorite food) and a meat dinner. Praise God for Leonard Mahoe taking the time to share the Four Spiritual Laws with me on that night after the College Life meeting at my school, the Univ. of Hawaii. [See my post for last Friday, 11/3.], and 2) I got some blood drawn that same day to have a battery of tests run that I have not had done in years. (Requested by my new doctor.) I PRAY that while it will reveal anything that needs to be addressed, I do pray that there is nothing going on in my body that requires major treatment.

JOURNAL: Nov. 1 - 1) PRAISE GOD FOR HIS HEALING AND FOR THE PRAYERS OF MANY! As of this day, I can finally say that there is very little evidence of the cold I have struggled with for most of October. I am still taking the meds my doctor has had me on to deal with the sinus condition but I've not needed to take my cold medicine for a number of days now. And 2) Halloween Eve. I cannot remember when I last noted this cultural event but last night I had a shift at work during which I was given charge for our department of a half shopping basket of candy to pass out to children who came in their costumes. I actually didn't know it till that shift that I had worn my Batman T-shirt under my work shirt. Getting the permission of one of the managers, I got permission at the last minute to wear it on the outside of my shirt. (Other employees had dressed up in different outfit so I was not doing anything unusual. Also, I probably have not worn any costume since I was in grade school - about 60 years ago!) The result: I don't remember when I had so much fun, greeting child after child and inviting them to take a handful of candy. (It was fun that like the feeding of the 5,000 by Jesus, my supply never seemed to run out!) The entire time just reminded me how much I truly believe there will always be children in Heaven because it would not be a place of joy without their joy and innocence.

JOURNAL: Oct. 25 - PRAISE GOD! THE SINUS INFECTION SEEMS TO BE CONTROLLED. However, I still am battling a chest congestion. I just learned today that my boss has me scheduled to work the next 6 straight days! I just pray that this chest cold will finally be done when this month ends next Tues.

JOURNAL: Oct. 20 - PRAISE GOD! On Wed I finally registered at a local health clinic where I saw a doctor yesterday who prescribed some over the counter meds to help me. I'm suddenly hopeful that even without health insurance I am earning little enough (and have always, it seems) that I can get some basic medical services on a sliding pay scale about equal to if I had insurance. I'm more hopeful about getting health care I may need than I have in a long time.

JOURNAL: Oct. 18 - Since last Sat, I've been struggling with a bad sinus infection and then chest congestion. (Others in my workplace have also been struggling with colds lately and so despite getting the flu shot I caught something.) Not having insurance, I've tried to treat it with over-the-counter meds with limited results. Not sure what to do next.

JOURNAL: Oct. 11 - Being Affirmed: It's been humbling to have received affirming words lately - 1) I received an email from someone I had not heard from in awhile thanking me for my blog posts; 2) The other day while I was in my workplace breakroom, an employee I barely knew suddenly just said that a good friend of hers said he most enjoyed being served by me at the store; wow!, and 3) as he was leaving for the day, my supervisor suddenly turned and said that he never worries about how well things will be taken care of when he knows I will be working. As demanding as he can be, those words really meant a lot. I myself need to be more affirming of others even as I experience the great blessing of receiving such. (Also, God held back any rains this past Sat and the guys who came to work on my backyard fence did an incredible job. So blessed!. Unfortunately, I've discovered that there is some kind of leak in my kitchen sink but am hopeful a friend will come by to take a look at it.)

JOURNAL: Oct. 5 - Blessings - 1) A group of guys from my church have kindly volunteered to come by THIS SAT to repair the fence in my backyard (that was blown down by Hurricane Irma). I PRAY that the predicted rains for that day will be held back until the work can be finished. 2) I had expected to go to work just hours later and had been concerned about how tired I would be after the hours beforehand focused on the fence project. BUT I suddenly learned yesterday that I WAS NOT scheduled to be at work. 3) An ADDED BONUS was learning that my Florida Gators will be playing a crucial game that will be broadcast on network TV just several hours after the project should be concluded. What a great unexpected blessing as I expect to rarely have the opportunity to watch any games with my usual work schedule. 4) On Monday, as I was getting ready to leave for work, I "happened" to be watching a noon hour news broadcast that suddenly had an investigative report about the very internet service I had been recently been thinking of signing up for in order to save some money. I was stunned to learn that THAT service - Century Link - had over 300 customer complaints lodged against it with the BBB and was also being investigated by the attorney general of my state! Talk about God alerting me to something that would have been a BAD choice for me to make; THANK YOU LORD!

JOURNAL: Sept. 19: Blessings - 1) Today is my 67th GenDay! If people don't recall what that is, I pray that they will read the essay I wrote and first posted in 2012. 2) I usually am called in to work on Saturdays. I was dreading it this year as it would be the first time in years I will not be able to watch games of my Florida Gators. But then last week, I got word that I would not be working last Sat. At first I was disappointed because I could really use the additional income. But then I learned that my Gators would be playing a big game against Tennessee that day. Not only did I get to watch it, but it might have been the most exciting Gator game I've watched in almost a decade! When they scored on the last play of the game with a 65 yard TD pass, I thought I'd never stop screaming! Wow! It really helped relieve the stress of all the previous days of Hurricane Irma. I almost felt God was saying, "After all you've been through, Florida, here's a special blessing." (I can't help but think even FSU and UCF fans felt blessed.), and 3) I've been discouraged lately that my boss has not given me very many work hours, even though he had said they should increase with the school year starting. But then last Sat. I learned that there are some Publix stores (and some other grocery stores) that are closed because of the hurricane. I suddenly realized that here are many who don't have ANY work hours indefinitely. I suddenly have felt blessed just to have work hours. Sometimes we really don't appreciate what we have until we realize others have much less. I'm thankful for the reminder.

JOURNAL: Sept. 14 - I forgot to note something important from last weekend. Whenever I think of a supervisor at any work I've done throughout my life, I remember how hard it was to elicit praise/an encouraging word from most. That has certainly been true of the job I now have. But last Sat. 9/9, I had 2 instances when my boss complimented me. Once was when I voluntarily walked around a counter to personally hand her wrapped order to a woman in an electric cart. The other time was when I somehow grabbed the exact number of shrimp to measure 1 pound (admittedly that involves chance as much as skill) but my boss looked at me, and smiling said, "You're scaring me." Reflecting on those rare moments made me realize that all of us look for affirmation every day, esp. from people who rarely do so. I recalled the great discouragement of going long periods without a word of encouragement. It made me realize that as much as we want to receive encouragement, we must always be first to give it. It challenged me to want to be more proactive in doing so for others - just as Jesus would.

JOURNAL: Sept. 11- YES, I survived Hurricane Irma! The only down side I experienced was a power outage from just before midnight last night (Sun) until just before noon today. (Though I was uncertain of how long I would be without power, I was pretty sure that once the winds died down today, they would be able to get the power back on - and that's what happened.) More significantly, I woke up to find that the portion of my backyard fence facing the main road had been blown in. I'm not sure right now how or even home insurance will help nor what to be doing next. P.S. - As a sign that things are pretty much back to normal, the neighborhood boys are out playing basketball in someone's driveway!

JOURNAL: Sept. 9: 1) Living in Orlando, Florida, I'm of course admittedly anxious about the huge Hurricane Irma headed our way in the next few days. I've made what prep I could think of but of course wonder about things I didn't think of - like checking my batteries and being sure I had back up batteries. If the power goes out, I have no idea how long it will be. I've had power outages before and they are not fun. AND YET, God reminded me just awhile ago of the tens of millions of brothers and sisters around the world who are enduring unimaginable suffering as a result of affirming their faith to their families (who sometimes attempt to kill them because of it) as well as from people in their community. For instance, God reminded me of believers in the Middle Eastern country of Eretria who are known to be jailed in shipping containers! [I encourage my blog readers to please read the daily prayer requests for persecuted believers that appears in my "World-Wide" prayer request section posted after that day's main article.] I THANK GOD that He HAS gone before each of us and prepared to be our REST and STRENGTH no matter what suffering He calls us to not just endure but embrace. And 2) This past Monday, I had a chance to have a follow-up conversation with the college students I began talking with a week before. She said she did read the first half of the gospel tract I gave her but was just not sure if it was all real. Despite what things I shared, she was still hesitant to be more specific about what made her hesitate. I then gave her a book with brief apologetic answers and selections from Scripture. Please pray that she will read the material and become more open about what she is thinking.

JOURNAL: Aug. 29: 1) What a great testimony of Texans as they face the tragedy of the ongoing flooding. The news is not filled with people complaining of how they as individuals are not getting help but instead story after story of people putting their own suffering aside to help OTHERS. I believe God is using this tragedy to demonstrate to other Americans what selflessness looks like as opposed to the selfishness so common these days. 2) God FINALLY gave me an opportunity to share Christ with one of the employees at my workplace. About a week ago, my schedule didn't allow me to be at work early enough to take a meal break - the only time I have a chance to really interact with others. And so, since I feel the most important thing about being blessed with a job is not the added income but the opportunity to BE Jesus and to SHARE Jesus with others, I decided to take my dinner meal and simply arrive at work about an hour early so that I would have an opportunity to share with someone. Well, yesterday, I finally found myself alone in the break room with Ashley, who I had met before but not known very well. God gave me the words to start a conversation that led me to share with her the need to consider where she would spend eternity, give her a gospel tract, and then challenge her to take 10 minutes to read the first half of it. If I never have another opportunity to go back to work, I now know I at least was able to reach out to one person. May this only be the start of many more opportunities.

JOURNAL: Aug. 26: I came across this the other day and thought it was so cool! - [c/o MikeysFunnies.com] "A blind man sat on the steps of a public building with a hat by his feet. He had propped up a sign nearby which said, 'I am blind, please help.' There were only a few coins in the hat. A man walking by took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words. Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind man. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came by to see how things were doing. The blind man recognized his voice and asked, 'Did you change my sign this morning? What did you write?' The man said, 'I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.' He had written, Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it.' Moral of the Story: Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.

JOURNAL: 8/23: I honestly couldn't get excited about viewing the solar eclipse the other day. I was surprised that, when there was a lull in the work pace, my boss called me aside and invited me to step outside and view the eclipse with a pair of special glasses one of the managers had brought. Yes, it was a beautiful sight to even see part of the sun in darkness. But later I wondered if it was a preview of how one day the billions on earth will look up to see Jesus returning for believers. Now THAT will be something to witness but for those left behind it will be so very sad. May God use each believer to make sure as many of those in his/her circle of influence will be taken Home with Jesus when that day comes.

JOURNAL: 8/12: As I am sure is everyone who is following the thus far just war of words between North Korea and the US, I am of course nervous and concerned. But as I brought up the subject with a prayer partner yesterday, I was reminded that 55 years ago we had another situation in which we were threatened with nuclear missiles less than 100 miles from the US mainland. At that time, another President also less than a year in office famously stood up to those threatening us. Is there not a time when we must stand up and do more than just speak loudly, but as another President said, but express our resolve to use our "big stick." Needless to say, the BIGGEST STICK we have is the intervention of God, on whom we should all be going before in prayer.

JOURNAL: 8/2: This past Sunday, after I had just returned from a meal break at work, I suddenly felt this intense pain in my abdominal area that caused me to double over. I ended up laying down on the computer room floor (they really need to have a cot of some kind available for times like that ), feeling better, than going back to work only to feel the pain again after several minutes. Since they had no one to take over for me, my boss asked me to "gut it out" as long as I could. Over the next 3 hours the pain slowly subsided and finally disappeared. I had this happen once last December but not since. Not sure what's going on but do hope it doesn't require any kind of medical procedure as I'm still going without health insurance.

JOURNAL: 7/13: 1) The other day, a few minutes after I had finished cleaning and closing the seafood dept. a work, my boss (who was the manager of the store for the night) approached me to say that a customer had approached him to complain that I had refused to serve him because I had closed the dept. (something I am trained to never do). I quickly explained to my boss that not only was that not true, but I had not been approached by any customer for the past hour! I realized later how God had protected me from the false accusation by my boss "just happening" to be filling in as manager that night. Almost any of the other of the others who could have been in charge that night would not have known me and have been quick to take the accusation seriously. As it turned out, that customer had lodged that complaint on behalf of a friend and an hour later called to say that that friend had had that experience at another market. (While that complaint may have been true, what's also true - sadly - is that there are those who will lodge such false complaints just to gain some monetary credit at the store. People are willing to "work the system" no matter who it hurts in order to get an advantage for themselves. So sad the mind of sinful man., 2) I just learned yesterday that it seems the hours of work I was able to enjoy the past month because several other workers took time off may be at an end. While I had averaged working 5 days a week, next week my hours may be cut to as little as 2 days! Such is the life of the part-time worker; not sure now what options I have. Appreciate the prayers of friends.

JOURNAL: 7/11 - Happiness tempered by Sadness: I was most excited this past Sunday to be able to visit after the worship service with a new friend who is getting married this coming Sat. As SO happy as I was for him, I was very saddened to learn that he and his bride will be soon moving on to another part of the area and not be a part of our church. It reminded me of so many friends I have made over just the past few years (let alone the many I have had over my lifetime) with whom I have very little and most with whom I have no physical contact. While it's a great reminder that this life is NOT our home and that Heaven will be our forever Home as believers in Christ, it's still very hard to have to say goodbye to so many until then. But for the promise of eternity with these good friends, the sadness would truly be overwhelming. It further makes it heartbreaking to know as well that there are many others whom I've known who've not chosen to have a relationship with Christ who I have no hope of ever seeing after this life. It definitely creates an urgency to do all that I can to want to help others become followers of the Savior. For otherwise, the sadness is truly forever. I SO appreciate prayers that God would protect me until I finally figure out the best way to be insured.

JOURNAL: 7/5 - YESTERDAY was not just the 4th of July but the day God enabled me to post my #2000! blog post. I remember how years ago it was a milestone to reach the 500th mark and now, Wow! It is a great reminder of God's enabling, though I wonder each day just how much difference it is making in informing and encouraging others. There have been many times I've been tempted to just "forget it" but God has called me to persevere if just ONE person may be benefiting. I hope that one day - if not on this side of Heaven then when I am finally there - I will know any difference it's made. If anything it has taught ME to persevere and to trust God when I can't fully know the results of my labors. So, when I think of all the fireworks that were set off yesterday in honoring the idea that is America, I can't help but think of GOD being honored for teaching me and helping me to persevere. Here's to doing the best I can to reach my next goal of 5000!

JOURNAL: 6/27 - A friend just e-mailed me about an online site where I could possibly find a "Christian" job. After now 7 months as a Seafood clerk, I've had moments when I've envied friends who are still in Christian ministry after many decades. After having been in Christian ministry for 33 years, it's hard not to regard such work as the "more meaningful." But on reflection just now, I've realized that WHATEVER God leads us to do IS meaningful because it's what He's called us to do. WHEREVER God places me is MY mission field - to reach out to the non-believers there as well as to encourage the believers and any others I encounter. And so, YES, I continue to be in Christian work, and so are all others who CHOOSE to embrace WHEREVER God has placed them and to do WHATEVER God has called them to do.

JOURNAL: 6/19: On this day, my 66th birthday, I was happy to post an article about one of my modern day heroes. For me, a hero is not necessarily one who runs into a building to rescue someone. A hero to me is that person who commits his/her life to doing their best every day to honor God and to BE JESUS in every way they can. There are few people in the public eye who do this better than Tim Tebow. I hope many will read the article (also posted on FB) and also seek to be someone with "a chest," something Tim has without question. It is my wish, on this birthday, that I would live also live a "heroic" life and be a man with "a chest.

JOURNAL: 6/14 - It's been good to continue to have normal work hours lately but admit there are days when things can be discouraging and other times when I just find it hard to enjoy the work I am asked to do. I was therefore blessed to recently come across the following quote by D. Stuart Briscoe - "When you check in to work tomorrow morning, say to the Lord, 'Here I am, Lord, uniquely gifted with skill, time and energy graciously provided by you. I recognize this. And I believe that you have me where you want me, which means that this particular job that I thought last week was a real bummer is, in actual fact, a high calling, and I am going to live and work today as if that is exactly what it is.'"

JOURNAL: 6/2 - My boss had said that with many going on vacations, he would be giving me more hours during THIS month. Sure enough, beginning yesterday, he's given me 6 STRAIGHT days of work and many extra hours besides. It should be exhausting and will be trusting God and seeking prayers from others for extra strength for the days ahead.

JOURNAL: 5/24 - PRAISE GOD! I woke up to news that my boss has restored (at least for now) a lot of the work hours he had taken away several weeks ago. While it's still not as much as I would like, it's encouraging when combined with the fact that the manager of at least one other store knows of my availability and may still call on me to offer additional hours. I am so very grateful to all who have prayed for me re: this. I pray that people will continue praying that my health will remain strong and that I can continue to work as many hours as possible.

JOURNAL: 5.19 - 1) I finally had a short meeting with my boss yesterday and he explained that he needed to reduce my hours because he can only pay so much to his workers and he just hired a new guy to work in the meat dept. (He overseas both the meat and seafood depts.) He explained that he could only be sure of my getting around 20 hours a week - at times it might be a little more but not much more. (It seems he didn't understand that I receive no government income and live solely on savings AND whatever I can earn from part-time work.) He suggested that I contact the meat dept. managers at other stores for any extra hours they might be able to give me. Earlier today, I met with such a dept. manager at a store near where I live and he was very positive about having hours he could schedule me to work at his store! I was not given any commitment but was told he would be checking with my boss. SO, I'm now a lot more hopeful I can supplement my limited hours where I am; appreciate people continuing to pray with me re; this, and 2) from time to time I am able to find a good movie to check out from my local library. The other day I was able to borrow a DVD copy of "Hacksaw Ridge," about a soldier in WWII who was a conscientious objector who endured much harassment but ended up winning the Medal of Honor. It ends the way "Saving Private Ryan" began - with VERY violent scenes. But it's portrayal of this CHRISTIAN soldier's persevering faith was one of the most inspiring I've seen captured on film in a long time. Oh yeah, it was also nominated for Best Picture and a number of other awards. I do hope more people get to check this movie out. Definitely one of the best I've seen in a LONG time! [For a formal review of this movie, scroll down my blog to #1786 from last December.]

JOURNAL: 5/13 - I just learned that my department at the store just hired a new full time worker and without warning slashed my hours down to just 12 hours over 2 days! (It had been around 35 hours over 5-6 days for the past 6 months.) I will need to see what prospects for other part-work there are at other stores in the area or even doing other work at the same store I am at in order to acquire more work hours. The person who just told me this said that he even worked at 5 different stores over 5 days as a college student! Yikes! So is the life of the part-time worker, I guess. I would really appreciate prayers that God would lead me as to what to do next.

JOURNAL: 5/8 - I continue to have various physical pains - in my right ribs which are still recovering, to soreness in the back of my neck, to back pains, and stiffness in my hands. I could really use prayer for healing of these ailments as well as protection from any further accidents. Also, Mon. and Thur. nights look to be the MOST physically exhausting days and so I would appreciate prayers esp. for those nights.

JOURNAL: 5/1 - 1) Praise God my strength continues to be restored at work! I would though, appreciate prayer as a company executive is expected to stop by tomorrow morning (fortunately when I'm NOT there) to do an inspection. Early on the job, I believe it was following one of these inspections that the following day my supervisor (usually supportive, even complimentary) suddenly unleashed a tirade against me for not doing things right (though he had been complimenting me for awhile before then on the job I was doing). While I understand the pressure THEY are under, it's not easy being scolded for simply doing my best. I PRAY that TONIGHT I will do the very best job I can in cleaning things up and that the results tomorrow will at least not result in my being reprimanded. 2) My BFF pet cat Purrty has had hair falling out recently and I'm taking her to see the vet WED morning. I PRAY that it's nothing serious but I always regret being slow to get my last pet checked out and he developed serious problems.

JOURNAL: 4/27 - I really do appreciate prayers that have been offered for me. LAST NIGHT, I decided to see just how well I've been healing. Though it still is sore, my ribs DID NOT give me any problems as i did the most physical parts of my job at work WITHOUT needing the help of a co-worker! Now if I could just get my usual TWO days off next week so that I can truly catch up with some personal work I need to do, as well as to get FULL rest.

JOURNAL: 4/25 - While my right rib cage is less sore, I was still surprised to find out at the last minute that my boss had gone ahead and scheduled me to be at work on Sunday. The good part was that he's had someone step in at the end of the day to help me with lifting heavy items to do cleaning. The bad part was that he unexpectedly added another layer to my job that now means I won't be leaving work before 10:30 on any night. As tired as I've felt at the end of a shift when I have been feeling well, this extra work will leave me more physically stressed.

JOURNAL: 4/23 - Thank God that the pain has subsided some. I just pray that after the coming week, I will have healed enough to be able to return to work and will not return too soon and re-injure myself.

JOURNAL: 4/15 - 1) Slipped and fell in the shower last night and injured my right ribs. Pain is intense at times but doctor I saw this morning said there is probably nothing broken but that it may takes weeks to fully heal. I pray that I will not have to miss much work and that I will not do anything to prolong the healing. 2) TODAY is my pet cat/best bud Purrty's 11th birthday. What a blessing she has been to me these many years!

JOURNAL: 4/11 - 1) Yesterday was a double blessing: 1) After many months of waiting, finally saw a good man ascend to the Supreme Court, giving hope to the future of our country. While very pleased, was shocked that it didn't get ANY attention from most media sources I had access to, 2) Excited to hear that I not only will have this Good Friday off from work, but that our store CLOSES on Easter Sunday!, and 3) Speaking of work, while I continue to be disappointed in myself when I still make mistakes, I'm also discouraged by various mysterious pains that have crept up in my body lately as well as by my feeling esp. fatigued the day after having worked. Seeing a doctor NEXT TUES and hope I might get some good input.

JOURNAL: 3/22: JUST SHOW UP: Sundays always hold the temptation to sleep in as I often start my work shift at 1 pm and don't feel rested when I get up. But God usually tells me to "Go anyway" and I'm so glad I did. a) I got to see a friend who I haven't seen in awhile and who recently got engaged. I was able to congratulate him personally and pray for him and his fiance, and b) a college student brought a student visiting from Japan where I served in ministry more than 30 years ago. Though my ability to converse in Japanese is just not there, God brought to mind that I just might happen to have a Japanese gospel tract in my car. Prompted by the Spirit, I rushed out to my car as the service just started and tore through all the papers I keep in my rather cluttered car. And just as I was about to give up on finding anything, there were 3 copies of a Japanese-English gospel tract! What an encouragement to listen to the prompting of the Spirit and just be available to see God work!

JOURNAL: 3/19: 1) After working at the same job for almost 4 months, I've come to figure things out when the unexpected happens. It probably is my pride but it's still hard to deal with constantly being told I'm not doing something right even when it's just another approach to doing things, sometimes even ways that I question. 2) My great thanks to my friend, Russ, who has helped me many years when I've had to do my taxes. Though I only had income 5 weeks last year, it was still good to get some kind of tax return - yeah!, and 3) It was SO good to return home from work last night and learn that my team, the Florida Gators, blew away their competition and will be going to the Sweet 16 in the NCAA Tournament. Yeah and Yeah!

JOURNAL: 3/10 - 1) Continuing to Praise God for the pledges that have continued to come in towards helping me to raise funds for the Walk for Life TOMORROW; 2) Trying not to be frustrated by things like my garage door opener remote suddenly not working (and it's not the batteries!) and my countertop stove breaking down ):; 3) 3 customers I met at work last night touched my heart: a middle age man who lives alone and comes by often (for the company as much as the seafood?), a single young lady who ordered one small serving of fish and a crab cake, and a young woman who seems overly submissive to her husband. Noting such hurting people around me made some of the tasks I am asked to do as part of my job seem so trivial in context.

JOURNAL: 3/2 - PRAISE GOD! I just learned today that several people chose to sponsor me yesterday as a walker for the Walk for Life. Their generous gifts "put me over the top!" but my enthusiasm has been tempered by learning that overall the fundraiser has not raised anywhere near the amount of money they had set as a goal. I PRAY that people will continue to give in the final 9 days before the Walk on 3/11 and that somehow the goal set can still be reached.

JOURNAL: 2/28 - It has been a very exhausting 6 straight days of work, something that I am thankful my boss does not schedule very often but when it does I barely make it through the sixth day. [No wonder God rested on the 7th day ! (:] Though I marked my 3rd month on the job this past Sat, yesterday my boss sat down with me and went over the 60 day evaluation he put together of my time. Not surprisingly, he disclosed that my my performance the first several weeks was so shaky he (and I) was not sure I would "make it." But I was encouraged that overall he said that I have improved greatly and that even my co-workers have remarked the same. He said that my performance is just slightly above average (as they tend to mark me re: various matters) but that they will look for some improvement at the 6 month mark in May. That remark has caused me to hesitate as I am now working as well as I think I can; I just pray I can show significant improvement during the next few months, as hard at that seems right now. The evening ended at 10:30 pm with my discovering I had a flat tire, though fortunately it was while I was still in the store parking lot and I was able to get the help of 2 rather strong guys to help me at different stages of changing the flat. What a blessing that God protected me from it not happening over a stretch of road with no lights not far from the store (a fear I've held for awhile) as well as providing the timely help of those 2 strong young men. Another blessing happened earlier in the day when a good friend emailed me that he had sent in a contribution towards my Walk for Life goal that suddenly puts me within $100 of my goal, just as I had been doubting I could reach it by the 3/11. It was overall an exhausting day marked by blessings.

JOURNAL: 2/25 - 1) My job continues to be an "adventure." This past Wed, not long after I started my shift, a customer asked for a particular order that I'm still not experienced enough to do. When he became irritated, I rushed back of the work area to find someone who could do the job. When the worker came and started to help that customer, another customer came up and so I stepped up to help her. Almost immediately the first customer got upset that someone who came after him was being helped before we were done with him. Suddenly the husband of the second customer began to argue with the first one and things got pretty heated. I resisted yelling, "Hey, can we all act like adults!" but restrained myself. The tension didn't lessen till the first customer finally got his order filled and walked away. I'm just glad these 2 were not driving and the first one had a fit of "road rage." Sheesh! 2) Was blessed to finally get to see a doctor on Tues. and have some medical tests run on Thurs. (not having had health insurance for more than a year and still not having any.); blessed Friday to have my good friend Dan help me again with a glitch on my blog site. Today I do my 4th straight day of work with 2 more to go before a day off. Pray that I can stay healthy.

JOURNAL: 2/17 - God has blessed me unexpectedly the past few days: 1) When I went to get an oil change on Wed., I was finally able to get a break pedal problem fixed that had been a bother for several YEARS!, and 2) While I've continue to have some very encouraging (even fun) incidents at work good as well as some very discouraging times, over the past few days I've noticed something remarkable. There has been one co-worker with whom I've just felt uncomfortable around. He's the only one who makes harsh comments towards me when I don't get something right and has never been affirming. Well, lately and last night esp. I noticed that he has actually been gentle in his comments to where I'm feeling less tension with him. I can only believe it's in answer to prayer and I am SO thankful. I do hope I can in turn be affirming to him. It would definitely be a GOD-thing if we ever became good friends - but then what I experienced last night was quite miraculous, so who knows.

JOURNAL: 2/14 - 1) Today is Valentine's Day. It never fails to be a difficult day to some degree for those of us who find themselves not "in a relationship." It's hard not to want to experience romantic love. It leads me to pray for the many who struggle with loneliness (said by someone to be the most widespread illness in the world) or the pain of a failed relationship or who are separated from loved ones by distance or death. But praise God, that to each of us is extended the opportunity of having an ETERNAL relationship with our faithfully loving God every day. What a blessing to know our God of such great comfort!

JOURNAL: 2/10 - 1) Things have gone well at work, no major "bumps" in the adventure that God has given me to experience. I was blessed to give that certificate I was given to that college student at work - Mitchell - trusting that it will be an encouragement to him. I continue to be grateful to my boss for giving me time off to attend my church's annual picnic this past Sunday and to have Wednesdays off to attend the church community group I am a part of. 2) There is only a month before the Walk for Life I will be participating in again this year. I am $40 towards my goal of $500. The goal seems daunting but it's a "God-goal" and so it is definitely faith stretching. I appreciate people's prayers for my reaching that goal and that I will find ways to be a blessing to others at work even as God continues to bless me there.

JOURNAL: 1/31 - This past Sunday (1/29) was one of the most affirming days I've had in a long time. 1) I had several short conversations with a college student working in an adjoining area in which we even talked about prayer and I was able to give him a booklet about God's attributes which I had brought to work. It was the first sign of the impact re: spiritual things that I have always wanted to make while at work, 2) I received indirect confirmation that I was not the only one who "blew it," at work, that even the more experienced ones REALLY can mess up, and 3) I stopped to help and encourage a customer even after I had put everything away and she so appreciated it she commended me to the manager and I received a commendation certificate! (It's includes a certificate for a sub sandwich that I plan to give to that college student who has impressed me with his work ethic.) Overall, I find that I am enjoying work much more than I have because I am now expectant of God using me to touch the lives of others. I now look forward to GOING to work more than I do finally returning home, which is a BIG difference. (:

JOURNAL: 1/23 - Work continues to be a physical challenge, this time because they ended up scheduling me to go in for 6 straight days; today is my first day off since last Monday! (I've been assured this shouldn't happen again.) I didn't realize how tired I was until yesterday, when I made it to the worship service but then just before the speaker got up I began to feel VERY tired. When he stopped to pray before he began his message, I felt the Lord telling me it was best for me to just leave and head home and rest before my shift in the afternoon (rather than do the many tasks I had planned even after the service). So, as the speaker prayed, I just gathered my things, left, went home and rested. While resting, I debated whether to call in sick but instead asked God to renew my strength (Is. 40:31) and later went into work. Praise God, I made it till my shift ended at 1o pm. though I'm quite exhausted today.

JOURNAL: 1/17 - 1) While shopping in a store yesterday, I suddenly had a temporary recurrence of the pain I experienced exactly 2 weeks ago. About an hour later, after lying down and applying a cold compress to the area, the pain again disappeared. Hope to find an answer soon to what is causing those sudden pains. 2) Last week was filled with many stressful moments - mainly involving work, including confusion over back pay and mistakes I continue making. 3) Somehow got to finish reading several books the past month - two about progressive politics in our country. One I esp. liked was Timothy Keller's "Hidden Christmas." It was a relatively short book but it's filled with many "Wow, I never thought of that" insights. One day I hope to get my own copy. (Grateful for getting a library copy.)

JOURNAL: 1/5/2017 - This past Monday, I had been at work about an hour when I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my abdomen, just below the belly button. It was as though someone suddenly jabbed their fingers in. The pain came and went, being esp. sharp at times. I had not done anything to cause such a pain and I knew that later in the day I would be doing work that could aggravate the pain even more. Fortunately, my boss was working just feet away and I told him about it. I ended up being sent to a clinic to get checked out. The doctor couldn't determine what it might be (though she did say that it could possibly be something serious in that part of the body) and so cleared me to return to work. I left work earlier than scheduled, went home, placed an ice pack on the area, and the next day the pain was gone. I still have no idea what it was but it just adds to the "adventure" my new job has been. ALSO, I continue to make mistakes that I shouldn't be after 6 weeks on the job. It all makes me wonder if I really am cut out for this job.

JOURNAL: 12/27 - Thanks for your continued prayers as I have been at my new job for a month now. Every work day continues to be an adventure of challenges but also sometimes of rewarding moments. A highlight happened several days before Christmas when I finally took time to ask a Salvation Army bell ringer whether or not he had a relationship with God. He told me that he was Roman Catholic but wasn't sure of whether he had such a relationship. Unfortunately, I then needed to return to my job as I had just completed my dinner break. I was able to give him a gospel tract with my email address on it. He said that he would read it and try to get back to me. How greatly I regret not having approached him sooner as now he is gone and I have to trust he will read the booklet and place his trust in Christ. (Please be praying for Brian.) As to my job, I have a sense of being more supported by my co-workers despite my not picking up on some things as quickly as I would wish and I 'm sure they would want. ): By the way, I suddenly realized just the other day that I drive for several miles after 10 pm on a road that has stretches of no lighting. The fact that I'm driving a car that will be 20 years old in 2017 increases my concern. Please pray for my protection on the road as well as on the job. Thanks.

JOURNAL: 12/9 - I continue to hurt on my tailbone but am confident it will heal in time. I do hope to have opportunities to talk to some of the other workers I meet about Jesus, esp. during this Christmas season. Yesterday, I met with my health insurance advisor and am concerned to learn that there is no reasonably priced health insurance that I can get right now. I need to trust God to stay healthy at least until I can work full-time when I can get full health benefits from the company I work for. Meanwhile, I need to decide on an option presented to me to help protect what assets I have. There is so much to consider with that that I wish it didn't come at such an already stressful time.

JOURNAL: 12/5 - Yesterday, I fell off a short ladder and landed on my tailbone (and bumped my head). That plus continued back pains continue to make my work physically challenging. (I haven't; engaged in this kind of physical exertion since I was in my 20's, over 40 years ago!) Please pray for God's healing and protection. Also, pray that I can make a right decision of what to do about signing up for some kind of health insurance (esp. to avoid government penalties).

JOURNAL: Nov. 27 - Thanks for your continued prayers as I began my new job just this past Friday. There is so much to become familiar with but I am thankful for my co-workers who at least appear to be patient with me. Please pray that I will "learn the ropes" quickly and that I will soon stop praying 'go away' to customers whenever I am alone to wait on them. (: It's just so frustrating messing up. ): Please pray that I will soon establish myself as someone who can be counted on. Also, pray that I can soon make a right decision of what to do about signing up for some kind of health insurance (so as not to get in trouble with the govt.)

JOURNAL: Nov. 9 - ANSWERED PRAYERS: 1) As someone who voted for Donald Trump esp. because of his stand on the protection of the unborn from abortions, you have to believe I am thrilled by the results of the election. The fact that I was ready to be disappointed make the results even more special. (I was up till 4 a.m. just to make sure I wasn't dreaming.), 2) This past Monday (11/7), after job-searching for nearly 4 months, I was offered a job working at a nearby Publix market!; please be in PRAYER that my health would hold up at least for the next few months as I would like to establish myself as someone who can be counted on to be there when needed.

JOURNAL: Nov. 3 - Today's my 43rd Spiritual Birthday - Yeah! (Prayed to receive Christ after a CCC meeting in 1973.); PRAYER REQUEST: Just learned I could be called as early as Sat or probably Monday about an interview at a local market. PRAY that I get that call and that I would be offered a job. THANKS!

JOURNAL: Oct. 30 - My health has continued to vary from day to day. Pray that I'll feel consistently better soon so that I may resume job searching. Please continue to pray that I would SOON be contacted for a job interview and that God would lead me to just the right place for employment.

JOURNAL: Sept. 30 - 1) PRAYER REQUEST: I've not been feeling well since last Sat. night. I'm esp. concerned that I be available to go to a job fair next Thurs. so please pray that I'll be ready for it.; 2) PRAISE: For a book I just finished reading last night entitled "If You Can Keep It," by Eric Metaxas. It's a book I wish every American - and esp. every young person from high school - would be required to read. It's what our severely fractured country needs to remind us what this country is all about and what we are at risk of losing. Check it out from your library as I did; not to be missed!

JOURNAL: Sept. 14 - PRAISE! - I got a surprise call on Monday from the dept. head of one of the larger markets in town in response to an application I had filed. He asked me to come in for an interview, which we had yesterday. The interview (only my 3rd in about 2 months) went great!; I felt like I was just having a chat with a good friend. The interviewer was quite positive and said I should hear by Friday whether the store manager wanted to interview me. He further said that even if I didn't get the position open, I could be called on by another store manager for any other open position! I felt so encouraged I went out and bought 2 work pants as a step faith that I'll be needing them. PLEASE PRAY that whether it is this week or not, my job search may be over soon. ALSO PRAY I can find someone to hem my work pants. (:

JOURNAL: Sept. 2nd - The job search has slowed as I am running out of places to apply. An example of how frustrating it has become just happened as I just learned that the job application kiosk at a local grocery store that I spent an hour entering information LOST what I had entered and I have to go back to the store to enter the information again. Needless to say, your continued prayers are greatly appreciated; thank you.

JOURNAL: Aug. 13th - The job search continues to go at a discouragingly slow pace. I keep submitting applications but have no sense that they don't end up in a black hole that no one reads. I so look to find one employer who will not look at the particular work experience I don't have but who will believe in me based on the MANY years of faithful service I have given when I have worked. PRAY that God raises up such an employer soon. THANK YOU!

JOURNAL: Aug. 4th - PRAISE GOD! I received word yesterday that a Hungarian teen that I had been praying for several times a week for several years just placed her trust in Jesus as her Savior. I feel as excited I could burst; NOTHING is as exciting as hearing of someone placing their trust in Christ. Awesome!

JOURNAL: Aug. 2nd - THANKS for your prayers for my interview today. After all the prep I did for questions I thought they would ask, the interviewer asked me nothing about what I had to offer to the job and so I couldn't "brag on myself." I may get called in the days ahead but am honestly not hopeful. But PLEASE PRAY that I might secure employment soon. THANKS.

JOURNAL: July 22 - THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS! Not only did I learn a lot, but I also got help to FINALLY finish my resume AND was able to arrange a job interview on Tues. Aug. 2nd. PLEASE be praying it will go well and that I will secure the job. Thanks.

JOURNAL: July 13 - I'll be attending a 3 day seminar next week (Tues-Thurs.) where I hope to get help in writing a resume, doing interviews, and other things related to a job search. PRAY that I will be able to come away from the time better prepared to finally finding a job.

JOURNAL: July 8: On Wed, met (though I got lost getting there and almost gave up) with the person I thought would help me put together my resume. Turns out not to have been the help I was hoping for; PLEASE PRAY I might soon find someone who can help me. Contact me if you have a lead; thank you.

JOURNAL - July 2: 1) Great Answer to Prayer! - Central Florida's most notorious abortionist arrested!; see today's blog post #1638; 2) PRAYER REQUEST: Have appointment for next Wed. (7/6) with someone who should be able to help me put together a job resume - please pray that I can finalize it, determine what kind of work I would be best at doing, AND then very soon find employment. Thank you!; and 3) recently finished library book entitled "Liberty's Last Stand" that tells a fictional account of what might happen if the President suddenly suspended the Constitution and a civil war broke out in the U.S. - most intriguing and timely "what if" story.

JOURNAL: June 20 - YESTERDAY was my most memorable birthday in a LONG time: 1) got my first BD card (AND a cupcake) AND a BD hug in years at church; 2) the worship pastor ended with the hymn I had suggested, "How Great Thou Art," and I was THRILLED that people joined in with greater enthusiasm on that song than any other! (I strongly believe we need more hymns at my church worship.); 3) had almost 4X as many people visit my blog yesterday than have on average the past month!; 4) had over 2 dozen people send me birthday greetings on FB; and 5) finished incredible book on the life of "Chariots of Fire" hero Eric Liddell, For the Glory; can't wait to meet him in Heaven, hope you get to read this book; 6) watched "San Andreas," movie about the BIG ONE hitting CA with incredible special effects (makes you wonder how people can live in CA living with this threat!).

JOURNAL: June 18 - Two major things: 1) As a result of my not qualifying for government benefits, I am looking at trying to find some kind of employment soon, despite the fact that my health has some off days. Please pray that I need help with writing a resume as I've always found translating my 33 years in ministry into resume form quite challenging; and 2) In light of the desire to be supportive of the victims of last week's shooting here in Orlando, it's been difficult to know just how to "stand" with people in the LBGT community without implying I as a Christian that I approve of their lifestyle. It makes it difficult when fellow Christians seem willing to not make the distinction.

JOURNAL: June 8 - Learned just last night that there was a mix-up at the IRS and right now I don't qualify for Medicare. Had to cancel the appointment today. PRAY that I can get the mix-up cleared up soon. Thanks.

JOURNAL: June 6 - PRAYER REQUEST: This WED, 6/8, I will be meeting with someone who will try to explain my options under Medicare. The whole matter has confused me and so please pray that 1) God would grant me grace to understand what's shared with me, and 2) I would SOON be able to make a decision on the best options for me and have God's peace about it all.

JOURNAL: June 5 - Every summer I look forward to the program "America's God Talent" because it always features some incredible entertainment performances. Well, this past Tues, for it's opening show, the BEST feature for me was the performance of a shy 13-year old girl. I invite you to check out her performance and tell me if it doesn't leave YOU feeling blessed. Go to:http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/Chicago-Teen-Stuns-Judges-Crowd-On-America's-Got-Talent - 38153671.html

JOURNAL: May 30 - I'm glad I did several things to note this Memorial Day weekend. 1) Posted small flag from tree branch in my front yard; 2) read through a picture book with stories about soldiers who fought in the Iraq war in 2003, 3) watched excellent movie, "We Were Soldiers," Mel Gibson's follow up to "Braveheart" which had innumerable powerful scenes, many of them not of war action (he should have gotten another best actor award for this performance; I plan to make this my annual Memorial Day movie - it's that good!; and 4) watched annual National Memorial Day Concert on PBS last night. Truly blessed time of celebrating.

JOURNAL: May 25 - I finished reading "Stealing America" last night. What an eye-opening book about progressive liberalism in America and the implications for this upcoming Presidential election. Take time to get a copy from your library as I did. Scary but one of the best reads I've had in awhile.

JOURNAL: May 23d - 1) Best part of going to worship service for me is connecting with fellow believers and seeking to encourage and being encouraged. Never seems to be enough time to engage; 2) God speaking to me that rather than be frustrated by choices in future leaders is to PRAY for those running to be submitted to Jesus' Lordship; when that happen, we ALL win!

JOURNAL: May 21st - THANKS for your prayers; I'm still struggling with headaches/feverishness some days but just taking a day at a time. NEW REQUEST: I need to make a decision about insurance matters in the next month re: health and home. I struggle to understand such things and it stresses me out. Please pray that God will guide me and give me His peace. Thanks.

JOURNAL: May 9 - Yesterday's worship message focused on Philip sharing with the Ethiopian official recorded in Acts 8. God revealed to me how an experience I had while serving overseas 35 years ago paralleled Philip's; what an encouragement! ALSO, had 2 long distance calls with long time friends - one was quite uplifting, the other one discouraging. The later increased my burden for those whose faith has been poisoned by theological liberalism.

JOURNAL: May 2 - THANK YOU for praying about the church men's gathering I attended last Friday. I was able to speak with several of the men there and was able to end the evening sharing and praying with a young guy named Chris. PRAYER REQUEST: I've been struggling with headaches/fever the past few days as I do from time to time. Please pray that I will finally turn the corner and begin enjoying good health again. Thank you.

JOURNAL: April 27 - PRAYER REQUEST: I'm attending an annual church men's gathering THIS FRIDAY (4/29) NIGHT. Please pray that I would be able to be an encouragement to at least one person and might be encouraged in return. THANK YOU.

JOURNAL: April 23 - WALK FOR LIFE: PRAISE GOD! He enabled me to raise $360 towards the needs of the ThriveOrlando crisis pregnancy center and participate in the Walk today along with about 100 others. Gifts starting at $1 to $100, to a college student literally emptying his wallet into an envelope I had this past Sunday after the worship service all served to touch me greatly.

JOURNAL: March 31 - 1) THANKS FOR YOUR CONTINUED PRAYERS FOR MY FRIEND RUSS! He was moved yesterday from the ICU to the cardiac unit; pray he experiences less pain and will heal fully soon; 2) I may have injured my groin area yesterday trying to rush doing a task around the house; PLEASE PRAY that it will heal fully, and 3) I'm still need $350 to reach the goal set for each participant in the April 23rd Walk for Life for a local crisis pregnancy center. PRAY that I would eventually see that goal even surpassed! Thank you.

JOURNAL: March 29 - THANKS FOR YOUR CONTINUED PRAYERS! Russ no longer needs the breathing tube and is recovering well.

JOURNAL: March 28, 2016 - 1) Please pray for my friend Russ Martin as he recovers from heart bypass surgery he had today, that he would heal fully and quickly with no unexpected side-effects; 2) WALK FOR LIFE UPDATE: Long-time friends made a $50 donation which brings me to 30% of my goal; please pray that the remaining $350 will be pledged before April 23rd. UPDATE: 3/28, 3PM: Looks good for just having heart surgery. Please keep praying that he will breathe on his own and that they will be able to remove the breathing tube.

March 24, 2016 - I am again participating in a Walk for Life on April 23rd for a local crisis pregnancy center, which not only helps girls and women who might otherwise choose to abort their unborn child, but makes a priority of sharing the gospel with each client. The goal set this year for each walker is $500. YESTERDAY, a good friend made a $100 donation, which by itself brings me 20% toward my goal. PLEASE PRAY THAT GOD WILL ENABLE ME TO NOT JUST MEET THE GOAL BUT SURPASS IT! (To make a donation yourself, please go to: https://secure.ministrysync.com/ministrysync/event/website/?m=2736494)

JOURNAL: March 17, 2016 - PLEASE PRAY for my friend DEB, who must move within the next week to a temporary place with her daughter and ailing father. She still has a lot of packing to do, has suddenly become ill, and needs eventually to find a place with affordable rent and can accommodate her Dad's wheel chair and her pets. Pray she experiences God's provision, strength, and wisdom in the midst of it all. (Mat. 11:28-30)

JOURNAL: March 12, 2016 - PRAY for God to comfort the families of 2 elderly women (related to friends of mine)who are preparing to go HOME to Jesus any day now.

JOURNAL: March 6, 2016 - MILESTONE: You will note that just recently I posted my 1500th item! (I thought 500 was great; wow!) Also, I noted that I've also had over 70,000 views to my blog site, which means I've averaged just under 47 views/post; that's just short of my DAILY GOAL of 50! Praise God! My next goal is to post my 2000th item while having had 75,000 views! God willing...

JOURNAL: March 3, 2106 - Thanks for your prayers! 1) Purrty is finally healed!; 2) Thanks to my friends/former roommates Mike Rebholz and Dan Lum, you'll notice this section of the blog is finally back! They are amazing!; 3) PRAY for me to finally find an answer to my water overflow problem; Thanks to friend Russ Martin for fixing the problem with my only toilet; great reminder to appreciate the blessing of something that is so easy to take for granted. (: ; 4) Blessed to be getting to know so many young adults each week at my church Community Group; PLEASE PRAY that I will be a blessing to someone each week.

Jan. 28, 2016 - Thanks for your prayers. 1) Purrty is healing on schedule. Pray that in 10 days she will be declared healed; and 2) Came across a contractor in my neighborhood with the same problem. He volunteered to come and look at the problem (for free?) in about 10 days! Pray that he can determine the problem then.

JOURNAL: Jan. 23, 2016 - I'd appreciate your prayers for: 1) my cat Purrty has developed an infection in her anal tract that is proving to be quite expensive to treat. Pray for her healing and that it will not require any surgery. and 2) my being able to determine what is causing water to be leaking out somewhere on my property, causing my water bill to skyrocket.

Jan. 4, 2016 - It's hard to believe it's been over a year since I last posted something. If I were to point to a true highlight of last year, it was getting to know more people at the church I've been attending. The downside of that turned out that so many of them are college students or newly married that I now see less if not no longer see many of them as they have moved away. Another downside was discovering how limited my health insurance have and not being able to find any help even from federal and state agencies. It's been a challenge to not be anxious about it. I can only hope I will finally find answers soon. The best parts of this year were that I've continued with my daily blog posting and esp. with doing intercession several hours a day. My at times poor health has cut into the hours I now do that each day but God has enabled me to persevere. As I begin TODAY my 9th year since leaving full-time (paid) ministry, I pray that in this next year God will clarify and affirm more just what His calling is on my life. I appreciate your prayers for that.

JOURNAL: Dec. 27, 2014 - I do hope you had a great Christmas. Mine was made special by being able to connect with several people through long distance calls. One guy I haven't been in touch with in over 40 years! I had the sense he didn't want to end the conversation even after almost an hour. So cool! Also, 1)My primary job EACH DAY the past year has been to intercede in prayer for several hundred people BY NAME, as well as for the many aspects of abortion in America, the military, and persecuted believers, and 2) to prepare a blog post EVERY DAY. I've also been encouraged lately in finding a supportive group of believers to be in community with. Much to praise God for!

JOURNAL: March 29, 2013 - 1) My computer has presented no problems since late November - PTL!; 2) I continue to struggle each evening with sleep apnea (still no new treatment that works for ME) but I've only been down feeling extemely tired and feverish no more than a few days a month - which is rather good; 3) I've begun to again regularly attend a local church and am feeling connected with the Body of Christ there - yeah!; and 4) I believe God has called me to an intercession ministry of my own that I call "I.E.D." It stands for "interceeding every day" as I now spend over 2 hours a day praying for dozens of specific requests and go over almost 200 names EVERY DAY! (It's to identify with the explosive device (an I.E.D.) that enemy combatants hide in the ground to blow up soldiers who unawares trigger the explosive. In the case of interceessary praying, the idea is that it serves to explode holes in the gates of hell!) As I finish my 3rd 40 Day period of prayer and (limited) fasting since late September (in lieu of the election, anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and Easter), I find myself committed to interceeding for a whole range of things EVERY DAY as I have never done before. Exciting! (Hope to share more in a future blog post.)JOURNAL:November 6, 2012 - My computer has been down for several weeks now; I discovered just the other week that my driver's license had expired in June AND that it may take as long as 2 1/2 months before I receive a copy of my birth certificate that I learned I need to get a new license! and so I am forced to drive illegally for over 2 months; my computer monitor has suddenly shown signs of dying out. Is it God's testing but also a spiritual attack by the Evil One? Possibly both. I'd really appreciate your prayers on these problems being resolved soon.

July 20, 2012 - In case you don't know me, I love to read. I probably read almost 200 books the past few years. As you can tell (see above) the book Indivisible is one of the best recommended. If you can get a copy from your local library as I was able to, please do so as soon as you can. Like me, though, you'll probably end up purchasing a copy. I don’t know how many times I heard myself saying 'Wow' and 'Yes, that's so true' out loud as I read this book. If you've ever thought of the Christian life as just enjoying life even a little better than a non-Christian, or that it was about God helping you to live life as free from suffering and trials as possible, and always felt empty down deep where only you can hear you scream at God in frustration, than you've got to read this book.

July 8, 2012 - I recently had a chance to talk about spiritual things with a customer service rep at my bank. Her indifference to spiritual things saddened me, even after I told her that no one is guaranteed tomorrow. She's originally from the Ukraine and her name is Marina. Please pray for her. Also, please pray that God might bless me with more way of life opportunities to share the gospel. I've had few opportunities for years and deeply miss not being able to talk to people about the gospel.

June 6, 2012 - (1) Thank you for continuing to pray for me to have Gods wisdom (James 1:5) regarding my financial situation. I was encouraged last week to have found new auto insurance that will give me the same coverage as before for $134 less a year than I would have. PTL! (2) Since the beginning of May, I have had particular trouble each night falling asleep, often not before 3 a.m.! I usually have episodes like this but it has never been this long nor so resistant to my usual attempts to deal with it. I would greatly appreciate your prayers that God would bring me through this period very soon as it leaves me especially exhausted each day as a result. Thank you.

April 12, 2012 - You'll note that I have not posted an update because things have generally remained the same as far as my health is concerned. I did however just learn that for the first time in my adult life, I actually have to report a negative amount on my income tax return! Since I left full-time ministry over 4 years ago, I've depended on interest /dividends on what investments I have, and needless to say they have been minimal. Without having regular income, it's been hard to know how much to tithe but I've always tried to still give to the Lord's work each year. With no income, the temptation would be to say I no longer have to tithe or give anything. But I suddenly realized that with no income, I have to continually find ways to save wherever I can in order to cut expenses. It has thus occured to me "Why not tithe what money I am able to save?" In that way, I stay motivated to always find ways to cut expenses in order that I have more to be able to tithe. It will not add up to much but at least I can keep giving.

Nov. 5, 2011 - Still struggle with occasional low-grade fevers that keep me bed-ridden. Mainly struggle with falling asleep and getting sufficient rest so as not to be exhausted the next day. [This despite trying medication and sleep machine.] I spend most of my time reading books on public policy issues during the day and novels at night. Otherwise, try to research information to post on current events blog and taking notes from books I've read that usually are from the library. Companionship limited to my 5+ year old cat Purrty and emails I receive from people. Maybe the most personally challenging and largely disappointing time in my life, compounded by the long time lack of employment.

My "Christmas in November" - Nov. 11 - I so rarely get phone calls let alone emails from friends that when I do it's like Christmas for me. Well, this week started off spectacularly with a relatively new friend (actually my cousin's son's daughter) sending me an email on Monday in which she shared a personal struggle. From 1 pm when I read it till 9:30 that night, she and I went back and forth 3 times via email, in which I got an opportunity to speak to her situation. I was thrilled that she said that I was of help and encouragement to her. THAT kind of opportunity is where my heart is at, something I wish I could do EVERY day. There is that part of me that deeply loves to minister to people any way I can, which is my major reason for starting this very blog.

Truth of the Matter - Stan M. Yonashiro

Saturday, March 22, 2014